Yard Ornaments

So, here is the story about the water spout yard lights that I have just created.

About 3 years ago, Jim found this idea on the internet about making these yard ornaments that look like a water spout. He showed the picture to me and told me he was going to make some for our yard. We went to Home Depot where we spent way too much money (in my opinion) for the supplies. We brought them home and put them in the garage. The box sat there. I reminded Jim that the supplies were there and he should do it. The more I reminded him, the more he assured me he would get to it sometime.

Well, sometime never came. I had forgotten about it until about a month ago when I saw the box in the garage. Then a couple of weeks ago I decided I should start organizing some of the stuff in the garage and make some room for other things. I found the box. I looked and thought about him not finishing this project and how disappointed I was that he hadn't finished it before he died. Then I thought there was a possibility that I could make them. So, I searched the internet for a plan and found one. I realized how easy the project was. However, I had the supplies for two and I somehow broke the light wire on the second one. So, I had to scrap it. I knew that would not be acceptable for Jim, he would have wanted two. So, I ordered lights and bought one piece I needed that I could not salvage from the other one. I completed it today and it has a different type of light that has settings that change. I am so pleased with the second one and thrilled with the type of lights I was able to find. So, I will just say this, the first one was Jim's and the second was mine...mine is better ;-)

Thanks for reading.

Cancel Easter!

I sit in my house during this time of quarantine. I strive to stay off Facebook and find myself there at  least 20 times a day. I want to let go, but I cannot. I fear I may miss some critical update or funny meme that someone else posted. Or, I am just bored and don't really want to do anything else. But, the longer I read, the greater my frustration becomes. It isn't about the "lock down" or whatever you want to call this situation we are in. It is about the comments regarding Easter.

Easter comes on the calendar every year. But, really, what does it mean and why is that one particular Sunday in spring so important? I know for some it is all about getting together with family, hiding eggs, eating ham, breaking the lenten fast, going to church the one Sunday of the year, dressing up in new clothes. But why? Why do we celebrate that way?

As I watched some people's comments over this past week, my heart was stirred. I saw where some people were complaining about the quarantine keeping them away from the normal celebrations they usually participate in, I see some concerned about not being able to figure out how to live stream a church service. Why all of the sudden is going to church or celebrating Easter so critical to those who really have no time any other day of the year to really celebrate the true meaning of Easter?

Then, the conviction set in. If you are at all familiar with the story of Jonah in the Old Testament, that is exactly who I could relate to. My thoughts were similar to his. If you cannot give any time to the Lord any other time of the year, then why is tomorrow so important? Just like Jonah thought the people of Ninevah didn't deserve the salvation of the Lord, so I found myself thinking,

"You people who don't bother any other time to celebrate the true meaning of Easter, you are getting what you deserve this year."

Whoa, did I just say that, think that? What in the world. The Holy Spirit spoke to me, that is such a Jonah way of thinking. Is that really what I want my message to be? I know in my heart I do not want that to be what I think or feel. I really want people to see the true meaning of Easter, I got caught up in the celebration mentality that so distorts the real meaning. This is my confession of that wrong thinking.

Unlike Jonah, I want to really have a heart for the lost. Those who don't understand the true meaning, the personal meaning of Easter. I have written many times in these blogs what that really looks like, I would ask you to dig deeper if you don't understand. Bottom line, we sin, we cannot pay for it, Christ came, lived a sinless life, sacrificed himself on the cross and three days later (Easter) he rose to conquer death, sin, the grave. Your part, accept the free gift that he offers and live a new life in him.

Thankfully, God did not make me sit for three days in the belly of a fish to come to this conclusion. 

Thoughts on a Friday

In these days of uncertainty and trouble, I really need to keep my mind and heart focused on what Jesus is saying to me in the quiet of my lonely house.

I struggle at times when I realize I am alone here, but yet, I know, I am never alone. Jesus promised me He would never leave me nor forsake me. I really need to remember that promise.

I struggle knowing there are so many suffering in this time and I am especially mindful of the ones who do not have the assurance of salvation. This weighs heavier on my heart than the thought of someone actually dying from Covid. My greatest concern of all is that no one slips into eternity without Jesus. If I say too many things (and that is always possible) I pray that the one thing that people hear from me is that there is a way to know eternal peace.

So, once again, I am going to put it out here. I know I have said it a lot, but you may be reading this for the first time and the message may be new to you.

God created us for the sole purpose of living in fellowship with Him. In Genesis 3, that relationship was severed because mankind listened to Satan and believed his lie. God was hurt by that choice, mankind continued to live in that broken fellowship. Then God gave the Law knowing that mankind could not do each part perfectly even if trying with all of our ability. So, then God offered us one more way to restore that fellowship with Him. He gave Jesus to us, Jesus lived a perfect sinless life and was the only way we could be restored. We cannot earn it, we cannot DO enough to gain that fellowship again. There is only one thing we can do.

Ask Jesus to be Lord of your life. Ask Him to forgive you from the sin that separates you from God. Believe in your heart that when you say those words, the work is complete. Don't wait until you think you have yourself all "cleaned up". Just do it willingly and sincerely.

It is simple and in these days nothing else really makes sense.

Peace During the Storm

Several weeks ago, when this whole thing started and the recommendations were to start social distancing, flattening the curve, safe at home, etc. I was quickly reminded of the crisis I had suffered shortly after the attack of 9/11. I refer to this often in my life because that event shook my world. I was a mess beyond all messes. When this all started with Corona, I vowed I would trust in God and not allow myself to go where I had gone in 2001.

Well, as strong willed and determined as I am, that resolve left me on Sunday evening. While I was at work there was an overhead page for a "medical emergency." That means, someone was dying. Then, of course, we all paused in our thoughts in realization that it was a person with the virus. Then, it became more real than ever. When reading reports about the death toll and those infected, it doesn't become quite as real as it does when you know someone is slipping away in the very building where you are standing. Reality!

Our future will no doubt lead to those close to us leaving this world too. We don't know where and when this silent killer will hit. I don't like not knowing, but then again, I don't really want to know either. It is a difficult view to balance. It reminds me of the teeter-totter and being up and then down and then up and then down. It is hard to hit that middle and stay there both on the playground and in life. At one moment I realize all of this is in God's hand ultimately, and then I push that off and I am doubting the security that I know is there. I am sure I am not alone in that uncertainty and conflict.

I read scripture, many have come to mind in this time. I cling to those verses that give hope and assurance that God will not walk away from this. I often feel it is His way of getting our attention. But, are we seeing that? Not everyone. That is another area I struggle with. What about those out there who will face their eternity soon, where are they going to spend eternity? How do we make sure the message of salvation is clear and available? How do we share it without sounding like "doomsday" evangelist? It is hard. Any time I spend with people, it is with people who don't have a relationship with Jesus. It is hard to draw from others when they cannot offer hope. That is when I really have to remember to trust in Jesus. I pray for opportunities to share the gospel, but those don't come often. It is a continual challenge and has become even more so with this pandemic.

I also struggle with the feeling that this may be the beginning of the end. If so, our mission is even greater. Not one of us is going to get out of this life and not face the judgement. How can that message be sent clearly and how do we do our part? This is a struggle I face daily. Am I doing enough? NO! I don't even have to think about that answer. So, I pray that I can be used and that the Holy Spirit would lead people to me to give them the answer to hope in a very dark world.

If you are reading this and do not have a personal relationship with Jesus, if you don't really have the assurance that when you leave this life you know you will be forever in Heaven, please consider making that a for sure in your life. It required not work on your part, it only requires full surrender to Jesus. Ask Him to take control of your life, to forgive you for your sin, and to live inside you through the Holy Spirit. It is as simple as that. No hill to climb, no works to be done, the work was done by Him on the cross. Please take His gift of salvation and be assured of where you will spend eternity.

Let me know if you need to know more.

The Last Week of Firsts

Catchy title? Maybe, but truth.

I have survived the first of many things, starting out right from the death, Easter followed quite soon. Then Mother's Day, Father's Day,  the 30th anniversary of the day we met, Jim's birthday, the rest of the major holidays of the year. Each one was tolerable and each one less anxiety provoking than I had expected. Friends were close by in the event that I would need a lift. I am sure with that and a lot of prayers, the year was actually not as bad as I had anticipated.

Then, this week arrived. I often times wish my memory would not be so great, I can remember really dumb insignificant things, this week being no exception.  Sunday was St. Patrick's Day and I wanted a reuben. He didn't want to go to Culver's so I went with a friend. He texted me while there and asked me to bring him home a reuben. I have no idea why that happened other than the friend I took was a widow also and maybe to get to know her better, God really orchestrated that lunch.

I recall the Monday that I volunteered to work a 12 hour night shift because work was crazy busy and they were short. I remember going to Madison to get Jim's bike because he wanted me to be with him. I took my Bible and read it to him on the way, because he told me to bring it along. He knew that my reading time was important to me, he didn't want to take that time away from me, but he wanted me to be with him. Then, Thursday he took his bike out for a spin.  He went to McDonalds for me that day as I frantically rushed out of the house to get to work, being called in because of a new baby arriving. Friday I have talked about already in a previous blog.

So, as of pretty much right now, I have passed the one year mark. I have felt every emotion possible this week and my tears have been flowing freely. I honestly believe the crisis the world is in right now has contributed to the pain of this week more than anything else. Being forced to stay in the house and not be out with people has made it especially difficult to navigate through the emotions. I am so grateful for technology that allows me to at least maintain contact with people. But, bottom line, the one "people" I would have chosen to be quarantined with is not here. I miss him. I will never stop loving him and I would never ever want him to have had to go through the Corona Crisis, not being out with people would have made him so sad. I am blessed to know he is virus free, diabetes free, heart disease free, sleep apnea free!!!!

Thanks for everyone of you who has held me up in prayer this past year. Many tell me they are amazed at how well I am doing. I am too. But I know one thing, God is the reason I have made it. Jesus has protected me from the fear and loneliness that could have consumed me. God's word has been so vital in my life and I am grateful for the time I can spend each day reading and soaking in the truths. I am so grateful for the heritage of my birth family that taught me the importance of making Jesus first in my life. My parents led by example. I have so very much to be grateful for.

I have chosen my life verse to be Isaiah 41:10 "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold with My righteous right hand."

Peace During a Storm

If you happen to read my blog, you probably recall reading the story of the unrest I had during the weeks that followed the 9/11 attack on our country. I was a mess. I admit it, I lived in fear, paralyzing fear. Not just a concern or looking at it as unbelievable, but heart stopping fear. I could not get my head to accept what my heart knew. I trusted God. I knew He loved me and my family and that nothing would come to harm us that He wasn't fully aware of and in control of. I still feared.

Now, many years have come and gone, I eventually started to live again and function. Today as we experience a different type of attack on our world, I do not have that fear. I don't fear the virus will harm me in a health sense. The concern I have is what the panic and fear is doing to our world. I look at the financial aspect, everyone everywhere will be losing money over this. Think of the hotels and venues that are cancelling events. They are not going to easily recoup their losses. It is sad.

But, what are we supposed to do? Do we panic and look to the days and weeks ahead and live in fear of a fall of our economy? Will that solve anything? No!! What we really need to do is be thankful for what we have been given in preparation for this catastrophe. Many people criticize social media, a huge dislike for the internet and how it has invaded our everyday life, and now, we can see it as a blessing. Many who fall into the category of "compromised" can remain safely quarantined in their home and still have contact with the outside world. People can go to church without going to church, not to say this is a good excuse for not being with others, at least the word can be heard without the risk or chance of exposure.

Just some thoughts I have had mulling around in my head. But mostly, I see the parallel to 9/11 and am so grateful that I am not back there. I am thankful that God has grown me in the past 19 years (and even before that) to really completely trust in Him. I pray the same for anyone reading this. Put your trust in God, He will sustain you.

My life verse has become Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

2020 K-love Cruise

OK, I am keeping it short and not writing several chapters about this year's cruise. Why? Because it is too awesome to try to explain in words.

First day, we are waiting to board the ship. Dressed in our "God made us sisters, Prozac keeps us friends" t-shirts and our hair colored purple, (mine of course is natural and my sisters had to put color in theirs to match) we were sitting in the holding area.  Another cruiser noticed our shirts and introduced herself to us. She told us she is a nurse and the Prozac captured her attention. We started talking to her, got her brief story, she was traveling alone, first K-love cruise. We had an immediate sense of friendship. By the end of the day, we had officially adopted her as our sister and made it official by coloring her hair purple while we waited in line for the concert.

That was the first blessing of the trip...well not really first, but first big one. We spent the whole rest of the cruise as a now foursome. So, because we all felt such a kindred spirit with Sandy, we invited her to share a room with us next year. So, we will be officially a foursome Prozac sisters next year.

I went on shore at Grand Cayman and snorkeled for the first time. That was awesome and I cannot wait to do that again. Anyone want to run to Grand Cayman with me? I met some owners of an AirBNB and we can stay there.

Saturday we went to shore on Cozumel. I settled an year old dispute with Miguel (Juan was not there). But in the end, I walked away with a very pretty ring. Probably not yet worth what I paid for it last year, but it is pretty and Miguel made it right (maybe).

The artists were great this year. We ran into a few of them on the Promenade and other areas on the ship. I was able to tell Matthew West how his stupid song from 2 years ago ministered to me when I was at my lowest of low. It was a stupid song, but it gave me a laugh I so needed at a time when life seemed so bleak.

We met the Skit Guys. They were a hoot. Mike Goodwin was hilarious too and we were able to talk to him directly in the Windjammer as he and his family walked by.

I met up with some of my old acquaintances from previous years and sadly, rarely saw some, even though I think we were on the same ship. The ship is huge and if you don't have the same concert time, you rarely see the other people.

We met many people and were happy to bring back not only great memories, but we are honored to be able to carry others' burdens as well. I have added several to my prayer list and will be happily praying for those I met on the ship.

I will fondly treasure the memories from this trip and anxiously wait for the next.