Married!!

 Well, it happened, it really happened! 

Michael and I were joined in marriage on April 10, 2021. I could not have had a better day (weekend) than what happened. Let me share some of the highlights of the week.

My sister Kathy arrived from Texas on Tuesday. I picked her up and we went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner and invited Rebecca to come along. From there we went and picked up my dress from Rebecca's house (I had hidden it there to prevent my excitement from showing it to Michael before the wedding).

Kathy and I headed home and started planning our agenda for the week. 

Wednesday I ordered groceries and a few items that we needed to get our meal preparation started. I washed my sheets and cleaned up the house a bit in preparation for the company I would be having later.  Ryan had gotten hired at Generac and needed a ride to Whitewater to do his tour. His latest disaster of a vehicle and happened the day before on his way to the job, so I needed to take him there. We rode alone so we could talk. It was a good talk. On our way back to Janesville, my text alerted me that groceries were ready, so Ryan and I stopped and picked them up. We went home and I had him take a lot of stuff to the basement to get it out of the way. 

I was showing off my dress and realized that I had a tag on the inside of my jacket that would show when I wore it. The jacket is a sheer ivory fabric and the tag was black. I contemplated removing it myself and pulling out my sewing machine and fixing it. One of my very wise sisters advised me to call my seamstress friend and ask for advice (in hopes that she would say, "Just bring it to me!") So, I sent a message to my expert friend Denise Severson and as predicted, she said, "I am free right now, bring it over." Denise is the woman who reconstructed my dress for Jim's funeral and charged my nothing, despite being a very expert seamstress with an awesome business. Once again, the blessings begin to show up when least expected. Of course there was a trip to Dollar Tree and Hobby Lobby.  We picked up Chubby Bubba's pizza for dinner. (Kathy's favorite in Janesville)

Thursday morning I usually have a Bible study group in my home. I had talked to the gals about just meeting for breakfast instead of study that day. Konni decided she would host and call it a "shower". It was lovely. She outdid herself. What a huge blessing to have that group shower this undeserving person with such blessing. 

After the shower, Kathy, Rebecca, and I went to the church to practice taking pictures. Kathy is now my photographer. We wanted to make sure we were choosing the correct camera and flash. (Not sure what we would have done had it not worked) Of course, another trip to Dollar Tree and Hobby Lobby was necessary, and we lost the car in the parking lot at Hobby Lobby, and it was cold and rainy. Such fun memories.

Then, we headed home to get the food started for the wedding reception. Kathy makes a mean lasagna, so I decided that was a good choice for the wedding reception dinner. Kathy worked at that from 1:30 in the afternoon until about 8 pm. We-(by we I mean she) made six pans of lasagna and two Texas sheet cakes. 

Michael had come to bring some stuff and Alex (his youngest son) came with. 

I had not met Alex until this point in time. I cannot even begin to describe how my heart was quickly filling up with love for my new family.  Michael and I ordered our food for the "rehearsal dinner" from Red Robin. Alex took Ryan out to look for a vehicle. I think they bonded well as step-brothers. (Two of the nicest men you will ever know) Alex had plans with friends and his brother, Tom. So he and Michael headed home. Later that day, Michael called me and informed me that he had spoken to his sister Sandy. She was coming to stay with me and had wanted to spend some time visiting with Michael. So, he was headed back. (we love our impact on the carbon footprint). Sandy got to my house around 8. I fixed her a home cooked meal. (By the way, Home Chef is a great way to have meals handy).  Michael and Sandy sat and visited, and my love meter just started increasing all the more. I realized I am gaining another sister, and God has blessed me so greatly. 

Bedtime was a welcome friend, we had had a very long day. 

Friday-let the good times begin!! Mike and Leila came just in time for Leila to finish our "to do list". We had expanded it knowing that she would be excited to clean toilets and finish the laundry-NOT!

Michael and I had asked Mike to officiate our ceremony. We felt so honored to have him agree to this and to give us his blessing. (Mike is the closest person to a father that I have-this made it very special)

 

We started planning how to decorate for the "rehearsal" dinner. Well, what better thing to do than to go to Dollar Tree and Hobby Lobby to look for supplies? So, the four of us loaded up and headed to the stores. We found some picnic themed tableware, so that's what we got. 

Cannot believe not one person took a picture of the tables for the "rehearsal dinner". 

We had a great time of just sitting around, eating, drinking, and getting to know one another. My heart was about to explode. I had a conversation lately with Leila about our mom and we concluded that Mom was the type of person who loved to have people surrounding her and she loved to entertain. I think I come by that naturally.

Saturday morning we had breakfast, I made French Toast casserole and a sausage/egg bake. Both big hits! I went to get my hair done and stopped to visit with Rebecca at Breakfree because I knew she had a client there. Then, I headed home to get ready to go to the church. I had not seen Michael on Saturday and wanted very badly to have him see me for the first time as I entered the sanctuary to exchange vows and commit myself in marriage. 

I took my dress to the church and got finished getting ready in the women's restroom. Rebecca was there to keep me company. 

I heard that Michael and his sons had arrived. 

 

I had asked Sandy to put Michael's boutonniere on. 

There was some pre-wedding photos taken of Michael and his sons. 

Jeff, Justin (grandson), Tom, Jake, Michael, Alex

Ryan, Michael, Dan

It was getting closer and closer. My plan was to have my sons walk me down the aisle. Rebecca left me to go to her post, I waited for the word that they were ready. 

I opened the door and there were Ryan and Dan waiting for me. Dan was so amazed and kept telling me how beautiful I looked and made me cry. 

Dan

Ryan

In the women's bathroom!

Michele played the prelude and as a surprise for Michael, the processional was the theme song from "The Princess Bride." His favorite movie. (Sadly, he was so preoccupied, he didn't recognize the tune!) It was beautiful, nonetheless. 

Here we are, the first he saw me that day:

I will share other photos and stories later. Hope you enjoy reading about our special day. Thank you to all who came and contributed to making this day extra special. 

The Dirty Feet

 In John chapter 13, we read of the account of the feet washing done by Jesus on the night of the Passover dinner. It isn't shown how each person responded to this, only Peter's response. However, have you ever thought about how Judas felt? What about what Jesus thought as he washed the feet of the man he knew in a few hours was going to openly betray him and set into motion the end of the journey to the cross? Judas had already started the process even before joining the disciples for dinner. He had betrayed Jesus in his heart, and for that, we really can be grateful, because had he not, the whole redemption story could look so different. 

But, think about this: Jesus washed the feet of the man he knew had already betrayed him. No one else in the group knew, but the two of them knew. Jesus didn't point out Judas' faults, he alluded to them, but he didn't call him out or try to shame him, he just washed his feet. 

If Jesus could do that for the man he knew betrayed him so completely, he can forgive your sin, no matter what they are. He works that way. He doesn't call us out, shame us, make us do things to earn our forgiveness. He gently leads us to a place of surrender, he says, "Take off your shoes, be vulnerable, let go of what is binding you, give it to me and I will clean you up." 

So, as Easter approaches, think of what you need to do to completely surrender to Jesus. He gave his all in place of you. Ask him to make himself real this season. You will never regret the choice to surrender and follow him. 

Delight Yourself

 I have been thinking a lot lately about the lesson I learned about a year ago. I ran across an index card where I had written the verse: "Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart." (Ps. 37:4)

Before last year, I kind of had a backward thinking idea of what this verse means. I thought it to mean that if God got in line with my desires, then life would be good for me. SO TOTALLY WRONG!!

God showed me the true meaning of this verse through hearing a sermon several times by Dr. Charles Stanley. He explained the verse. It was saying, "Line up your desires with what God desires for you." (paraphrase and totally shortened for my writing purposes). In that time of hearing that sermon several times, I realized I was looking at God as the one who would certainly go with my plan if my plan was good. However, I learned that God had a different idea. He wanted me to line up my thinking with His, to make my plans delightful to Him. So, over the rest of the year, I had tried to do that. I gave my future to Him, I told Him I was willing to wait for what He had for me, not to do whatever I wanted and He could come along and bless me. 

I did this kind of surrender once or twice before in my life (probably more but I am a slow learner). He has always proven faithful. I remember the full surrender I made on a bridge over the Sanga River near Nundu, Zaire. Shortly thereafter, the full surrender was blessed by a marriage to a wonderful man. 

I surrendered by infertility to God. He blessed me with two wonderful adopted children that had I not surrendered, only God knows where they would be today. 

I surrendered my widowhood. I cried out to God that I didn't really think it was fair that I had to be widowed when marriage was my passion, that I had worked hard and long and loved my marriage that was quickly snuffed out. He heard my cry, He saw my tears, He reminded me that He was sufficient, I learned to "delight myself in Him" once again. 

Well, if you follow my blog or my life at all, you know the next chapter. God remains faithful. He is redemptive, yesterday as I hung up the phone from the Clerk of Courts after making an appointment to get a marriage license, I realized the date. March 23. I will be getting a marriage license exactly 2 years from the day Jim went to be with Jesus. God is so redemptive. He continues to bless me in ways I am so undeserving of. 

Can I add one more thought? If you are struggling, if you are weary in your life, let me recommend this one thing, "Delight yourself in the Lord". That starts with a relationship with Jesus. Tell Jesus you are sorry for your sin, that you repent of them and want a relationship with Him. He is faithful. 

The Story You've Been Waiting to Hear

 I have had a lot of people asking me for the details of the new relationship in my life. I thought rather than write it numerous times on Facebook, I would just summarize it here and then you can read it if you want. So, here goes...

I wanted to go to a real live service on Christmas Eve 2020. We had lost so many privileges due to Covid-19, this was one more that was potentially taken away. Because my own church was only doing virtual services, I was searching for a church that was meeting. As a nurse in a hospital, I have worked every other Christmas Eve for about the past 35 years...maybe not consecutive, but often enough that on a year I am not working, going to a service has become of great importance to me. I mentioned this to a friend of mine who informed me that her church was meeting and I was welcome to come. I was speaking to another friend at church about the service and she too was disappointed that there was not a live service at our church. We decided to go together to Cross Pointe church on Christmas Eve.

My friend is single also and on the way to church had told me that her close group of girlfriends had encouraged her to move on in life and find a man. It was time. She told me about an online dating service called, "Silver Singles" for the over 50 crowd. My immediate response was, "OK, hope that works for you, I am not going that direction right now."

Well, with a bit of encouragement from a lot of my co-workers, I decided that really the only way I would meet someone with potential relationship interest was to go to a dating site. So, on December 27, I created an account on Silver Singles and started my journey. 

On my profile, I answered the "What is most important to you"? question this way; "The most important thing in my life is my relationship with Jesus Christ. It is something I work on daily and I will not waver on this." My thoughts were that it would scare off 99.99999999% of anyone, then I could say that online dating doesn't work and move on. 

I don't recall the actual day that I got a message from a man named "Michael" age 66 from Wauwatosa. I think it was the 29. He said, "I like what you say about Jesus!" I was still a bit skeptical. I mean, maybe he just thought it was a loosely thought out answer and really he didn't care one way or the other. I replied with something like, "Felt it was a good place to start, then no surprises later." 

We started chatting about things and it seemed as though we could at least converse. That was a plus. One of his interests was reading. I thought knowing what someone is reading really says a lot about a person. So I asked him what he was reading. He told me the book "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn and then some other book that sounded way too deep and philosophical for me. But the next part was the part that really got me, he said, "I try to read my Bible every day." TRY...the word that struck me. He didn't claim to be a perfect scholar of the Bible and he showed me in that one word that he was an honest man, not trying to make a good impression. 

So, we continued on corresponding in the site. I was scheduled to have shoulder surgery on January 8. I had told him that I would be having that done. The day before my surgery, the conversation seemed to have stopped. I was a bit disappointed, thinking this all was too good to be true and he probably found someone else and I would be left to wait on another. Then, just before getting ready for bed, a VERY long message came from Michael answering every question I had posed. I worried too about what denomination he attended. Most of his answers to questions regarding his relationship with Jesus seemed real and acceptable, but I feared he would tell me he attended a mainstream church and I would have to "convert" him. By the end of that long message, he told me that for 22 years he has been attending an Assembly of God church. I am thinking he was a bit worried about how I would respond to that, I think the next paragraph was saying, "I hope you understand that there is a good reason I go there and that you are all right with it." That isn't what he said, but I am thinking it may be what it really meant. 

I knew that there was one church in the Milwaukee area that the pastor is a son-in-law of some friends of mine. So, I asked which church in the area he attended. He said, "The Bridge". Then I asked who was the pastor, and before he could respond, I googled it and realized it was the church pastored by Todd Pope, the person I had a bit of connection to. Suffice it to say, I was pretty excited. 

Being the shy person that I am (I really am, I just sometimes become bold) I asked if there was a chance we could exchange phone numbers. Then I realized I didn't really need to ask, so I just told him mine. He sent me a text soon after and told me he was headed to bed. He hoped all went well for my surgery the next day, good night!

On Friday morning, I got a text from him sending a blessing for my day, followed shortly after by a phone call. The conversation went something like this:

Mike: Hi, I just called to tell you that I am glad I went to bed early last night because it allowed me time to spend in my Bible this morning. I wanted you to know I prayed for your surgery to go well. 

Me: Thank you. 

Mike: Are you nervous?

Me: No, it's just an arthroscopy, no big deal...you mean about the surgery?

Mike: (Laughing) Well, yes, I know the other. 

Me: I am terrified!

Off I went to surgery. I know this may sound pretty hokey and weird, but sorry it is me. I recall the moment I came to after the anesthesia and the first thought in my mind was "Michael". It kind of took me by surprise, but it was really true. I got out of the hospital and my friend who had planned to care for  me that night took me to her house and got me settled in. I sent a text and told Michael I was out and settling in. I was heading to bed after taking a pain pill, recommended that he not text or call at that time. 

The next morning at 9:47 he sent a text asking if I were awake. I replied, "Yes. Waiting for you to call! Oops, did I text that out loud?"

I think the next 2 hours were spent on the phone with him getting to know him. He talked about things of the Bible and I knew by the end of that conversation that he was not a casual Bible reader. He told me about the part of scripture in 1 Samuel where the people were demanding a king and how God explained to Samuel that the rejection was against God not Samuel. I WAS HOOKED. I jokingly now tell Michael, "You had me at Samuel". 

Once we ended our call, my investigative spirit kicked in and I called my friend Marilyn, Todd's mother -in-law. I quickly gave her the rundown on Michael and she being the caring friend that she is assured me that she would ask her daughter about this man. Shortly thereafter I got a text from Marilyn telling me that I should "go for it!" He had checked out. 

So, I must have talked to him again because I asked him when we could meet. He said whenever I wanted. I said, "Tomorrow?" He agreed. He came and took me out for lunch. We then went over to Rebecca's (my friend who I knew would be a good judge of character) and he met her. The next day I spoke with her and she said she really had nothing negative she could say about him. 

We continued to talk, he came for dinner on Monday. We spoke every day, several times a day, and by Saturday when he came to see me, we knew that there was really no reason to wait around for the obvious. So, Saturday we were looking at my basement and all the junk. He scoped out where some of his belongings could go and I said, "Well, before you move your stuff in here, you need to ask me something." At that moment he proposed. Surprisingly, I said, "YES!"

So, April 10 is our projected wedding date. Michael is a Network Engineer (geek) and is close to retirement. We have some other details to work out for the long term, but plan on being together and very excited about what path God has chosen for us to follow. We both prayed for a partner who loved Jesus more than anything, and we are both feeling God has answered that prayer beyond belief. 

Conversation in the Beauty Parlor

I often wonder if people ever really listen to their own words. There’s a man spewing out very loudly his opinion on mask wearing. He was stating that people who don’t wear masks are rude and insensitive. That this whole mask debate had turned people into rude insensitive people.  (Apparently, it is only those who don’t wear them who are considered rude) Then he proceeded to tell of a co- worker who went to be tested for Covid. Returned to work after his negative test and had a mask on. He was one who hadn’t normally worn a mask. When this loud mouth guy in the beauty parlor asked him why he was wearing a mask, he had explained it was for him.  Then later in the day the man telling the story said he noticed his mask was off, then proceeds to say, “I just wanted to go and punch him in the face!” Hmmm, masks have changed people? Look in the mirror, there are plenty of them in the beauty parlor, Bud! 

A Call to Fast

 I have been intermittent fasting (IF) and occasionally doing long fast since October of this year. I had done this prior to Covid also, as a form of getting some of the issues of my body under control. I have obviously developed arthritis over the years and I was getting to a point where I was daily in pain with inflammation of my joints. The joys of the number 60! So, I started with fasting and doing a Keto diet. 

Let me explain IF. I set up an "eating window" each day. It varies at times depending upon my work/sleep schedule. The window is the time of day in which I can eat. At the start the window is pretty long, usually about 6 hours. When the 6 hours are up, I do not eat anything other than drinking water, coffee, tea, and sometimes broth. Then as time progresses I shorten the eating window and lengthen the time I go between eating times. Occasionally I will throw in a longer fast, "extended fast" which I don't eat for 24-48 hours. I think the longest I have achieved is 48 hours, I hope to do some longer ones again soon. Since my body is healing from a minor surgery, I haven't done an EF for awhile. 

An added benefit to the elimination of the pain in my joints is the weight loss. As I cannot say I have lost a significant amount of weight, I do notice my clothes fitting a bit differently. I also plan to add exercise to my regime in hopes of getting a bit more poundage off. Oh how I wish for warmer days so I can ride the bike that keeps calling my name from the basement. (and yes, it is on a trainer-I can ignore the call quite well)

So, you may wonder, "Why is she writing all of this?" There is a reason and I am sure you were really not expecting this entry to end with this spiritual lesson that I learned just yesterday. 

Often we hear in the church that we should fast. Usually this is a lightly suggested discipline that is rarely practiced, it also usually goes hand in hand with prayer. Most times when people hear the word "fast" they associate that with food and follow that thought with, "Oh, I can't do that!" I understand. I was nervous to start at first, but as time has gone on and with the right timing, fasting from food has become quite easy for me. However, fasting from food has not contributed to a better prayer life. Usually I can pretty much not think about food if I go long enough. In fact, I remember saying a few weeks back that I would really rather sleep than eat, that I got more pleasure from the sleep and rest than from food. But still, nothing really has improved my prayer life related to this type of fasting. 

Yesterday, there was a call for people to "fast "from Facebook for 24 hours.  It had nothing to do with prayer or discipline, but was a tool used to give Facebook a message, hopefully that without millions of participants the spending on there would significantly decrease. When I saw that, I resisted at first. After all, I had a podcast that I needed to drop and the way I do that is on Facebook. I administrate a group of Bible in a year readers that rely on me. I got up early in the morning yesterday, but not early enough to get on Facebook before the 7 am start time. I considered just taking a peek, I resisted. But then it hit me.

I realized in that moment as a bit of panic overcame me, I cannot go on Facebook until tomorrow...OUCH!!!! "How can I do this? I am not sure I can." I began to rationalize, I like looking at my memories, I will miss seeing what I ate for lunch 10 years ago today. I heard my mind wrestling with this thought. What about my reading group? What about getting my podcast done? 

Wow! All of the sudden, fasting took on a whole new meaning in my life. Yes, fasting from food has become routine and doable. Fasting from Facebook became scary and fearful. Just WOW. 

I am not sure if all of you know, I am in a research study for Alzheimer's. I have been doing that for over 15 years now. One of the questions I had to answer several years ago was regarding the future of the study and asked for a person's name they could contact if case things changed in my contact information, etc. As I read that question, I thought, "Just look me up on Facebook, I am always there!"

As I navigated through the day, I found it very challenging to pick up my phone and see the "F" and not click on that little icon that seemed to be calling out to me. I resisted. The sad thing is, even for a brief second it was on because of a link I had touched regarding something else. When I got on I noticed there was a notification where someone who doesn't usually tag me had tagged me. I clicked quickly out of curiosity only to see a very negative post directed toward me. I quickly clicked off and quickly asked God to forgive me for failing, but also I thanked Him for giving me the lesson I needed. That comment was short and probably of little significance in the long run, but I realized how it hurt, like a stab in my chest. A disappointment that a so called friend had no issue with the attack. The realization that this has become the norm on Facebook and that  I was best staying away from the temptation. 

So, great lesson learned. I did find I had more time to do better things yesterday. I finished one book and started another. I unravelled  a knitting project that I needed to start over. I caught up with several friends on the phone whom I needed to share a bit of news (later).  The time off of Facebook afforded me time to do this and really helped clear my mind of the noise and rhetoric of the day. 

Lesson learned: fasting and praying is a great discipline, fasting is not always related to food. I hope to have more victories like this in the near future. 

Wounds and Scars

 As many of you may know, and some who may not, I had shoulder surgery on Friday. It was minor surgery, just a scope and some cleaning up of some issues in my shoulder joint. I had been suffering with pain since September and it really took that long to finally get through all the hoops to get it worked on. 

This morning as I was getting out of the shower and getting dried off, I was gingerly drying around the area where I still have three tiny incisions with sutures in them. (Sorry if this is too graphic...I could get much worse in descriptions) As I looked at them, I was struck by thoughts of wounds and scars. Right now, I have wounds, they are cuts in my skin where I could get infection. Things from the outside of my body could all of the sudden be in the inside of me causing sickness. That is a wound. Openness, vulnerability. 

Then my thoughts went to fast forward. A year from now (if I am still here) those wounds will be scars. I will look at them and remember the fact that January 2021 I had an arthroscopy on my shoulder and there is the proof, the proof then will be in the scar. I will never be able to deny that I had that procedure because I will have the scars to prove it. 

My thoughts continued then to the realization that Christ too still carries the scars of the wounds. It hit me, those nail pieced wounds have remained as scars all of these centuries later. I was struck with a realization of how much that tells me about Him and about me (you). 

Christ went to the cross. We could say willingly, for the most part it was. He had wrestled and pleaded that God would remove that method from Him, but in the end, He gave Himself willingly to the punishment. Then He was beaten and ridiculed and whipped and displayed for all to mock Him. After which the ultimate sacrifice was made as He took our sin upon Himself, in His sinless body, and was killed by the cruel death on a cross. He was wounded. Those wounds were invasive punctures in His hands that held Him to the cross. Painful! Open! Wounds! For me? Why? Because that was the only way to fulfill the plan. God wants me to be in fellowship with Him, and the only way to accomplish that was through wounds by a perfect sacrifice. There is a contrast to His wounds and mine, I have kept mine clean and covered to prevent infection from setting in. He opened His to receive the sin of all mankind, an infection that He hadn't experienced before the cross. 

When Christ resurrected, He was not the same as before the crucifixion. He had scars. That was the proof, just like my scars a year from now will be my proof, He has the proof in His nail scarred hands that tell me, "Christine, I went to the cross for you, I was open and bleeding and risked infection, took your sin and punishment for you and ultimately died for you. This is the sign, my scars." 

God spoke to me this morning through the wounds of my shoulder and reminded me of His great love for me. 

Do you know God in such a way that you hear Him speaking to your spirit? If not, you can. Jesus went to the cross for us. A free gift of salvation is given to us. Please, consider where you stand in light of Jesus and ask Him to forgive your sin. Then, choose to live for Him and grow in that relationship. If you have read this far and are at that point, reach out to me. I am here to teach you where to go next.