Oh!! The Sounds of Christmas

It is that time of year again, when we start to feel the pressure and push of the season. I wish it didn't have to happen, I wish that every year. I think what it calls to me is failure. I have failed as a parent to make traditions and memories for my children around the holiday that they can take with them wherever they go. I hate putting up all the decorations that only the four of us really see. It seems pointless, but yet we still continue to do it. I failed as a child and early adult to see the value in those "things we did every year" for the sake of the holiday. I feel I have a bit of Scrooge in me. Don't get me wrong, it is not the meaning of the holiday that I reject or have a problem with. I think I more have a problem with it not being Christmas every day of the year. We should celebrate the birth of our savior every day, every moment, every breath...but I fail to do that. I think December is just my month to remember how far I fall short of making JESUS the reason...not just of the season, but for everything. When I think of how he made such a humble entry into the world, suffered as a poor person, had to work for a living, was rejected and turned away, and yet, went up the hill and faced death for us, how can that not be the driving force of every minute of my life? I am a failure. But still, knowing that no matter where or how I fall short, he loves me, cares for me, understands me, comforts me, did I say, loves me? I just get so overwhelmed by the thought of a perfect God, loving an imperfect me.

So, hopefully, my sentiment does not carry over into the rest of my life. Hopefully I can "fake it" for the sake of my family and hope to have a very merry Christmas.