Does Where You Park at Church Really Matter?

 Ok, that is a tease question. Sometimes I think about where I park when I go to church. At times when I know there is a potential that there will be a lot of visitors, I try to park far away as a courtesy to those. Most of the time though, I look for a reasonably close spot and one I can get to quick. Today, I pulled into the parking lot and didn't see anything open right away. I thought about driving up closer to the door and then I chose to go farther out. Why? I guess you'll have to read on to know! 

I pulled off to the right, pulled into a stall, then pulled through to the adjoining stall. So, essentially, I parked as far as I could away from the door (in a straight line), but still parked on the parking lot. When I got out of the car, my thoughts were about why I had parked there. Fleeting thoughts, but not a "no thought" moment. I didn't know that God was preparing me for what He was going to do with me. 

I got into the service, it had already started. I walked up to the front row where Michael had a spot saved for me. Then, when it was time for the sermon, the special speaker was introduced. May I suggest going to check out Dr. Michael Brown? (askdrbrown.org) He was our guest speaker and a thoroughly anointed man of God. He used the scripture in Mark where Jesus casts out the legion of demons into the herd of pigs. The point that he emphasized though was Mark 5:17. There was a huge miracle and the people asked that Jesus leave there. Jesus is scary. Complete commitment to Jesus is scary. We want easy, we want our lives to be the way we think they should be and sometimes God makes it clear that He has a way and sometimes that way is scary. God wants complete surrender. He wants us to be completely devoted to Him once we step outside the walls of the church. It is easy to say we give it all to Him, but then we go on our way and we don't include Jesus in every area of our lives. He wants it all and sometimes that looks scary. 

I am not one to go forward very often and ask for prayer. I am not afraid of that practice, I just usually speak to God on my own and don't include someone else in praying for me. Today, that was different. I didn't feel I needed to go and confess a sin that I have been harboring, I don't struggle with much when it comes to spending time with God and I feel I am doing fairly well. I am far from perfect or complete, but I am not feeling a sense of conviction that would spur me on to going to the front and asking for prayer. But today, I did. When I got to the lady who would pray for me, I said, "I just need to know what it is He wants from me. He needs to reveal it to me." So, we prayed. She doesn't know me so there was nothing specific she chose to pray for, she just prayed. She prayed that God would heal my past hurts (I don't think I have any unresolved hurts), and she prayed that I would devote my time to God and forgive others. (I think!) All in all, it was not the words that she said, it was the heart that I carried up there. I want to be all in, I want to be used by God to further His kingdom. That was my heart cry. 

So, the service was over, I had some issues about my giving method that I needed to clarify. So, I went to the information desk and got that question answered. While there I saw a friend whom I hadn't seen in a couple of weeks, so I went over to greet her. She had her son and daughter-in-law with her and they are from San Diego. So, we chatted a bit. I have never been there, but have heard it is nice even though it is in California. I moved on. There was a table offering information about foster care and adoption. I went to that table to get information, because, as you may know, adoption is near and dear to my heart. While I was standing there, another friend came by and tapped me on the shoulder. This is my friend who grew up as a missionary kid.  She comes to church alone because her husband has decided church is no longer needed his life. I know this is a struggle for her. I hadn't seen her in several months. We talked about the services. I told her I had already gone and she told me she was headed in. We said our goodbyes and I told her to text me sometime. I then headed out to my car, stopping to chat to some other friends along the way. 

I got out to the parking lot, almost to my car and that really really really still small almost not heard voice said, "Go back in!" (almost not heard) 

"Really God, I have a lot to do today," I argued. 

"GO BACK IN. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YOU HATED SITTING ALONE IN CHURCH, GO BACK IN AND SIT WITH HER," the voice got louder. 

"But, I have a lot to..." I turned around and headed back in. I mean, there was a lot more chatting about this before I turned around, I will spare you the details. On the way back, God assured me He would redeem my time for me.

As I got to the door, one of the greeter said, "Good morning...again?" 

"Yeah," I explained. "I had an argument with God, and He won!"

I went in and asked God to please make the rest easy for me. Let me be able to find her quickly and easily. She was right at the end of a row with a lot of empty seats near her. I tapped her on the shoulder and climbed into the row. I said, "The Lord told me you needed me to come sit with you."  

Tears started flowing from her eyes. "Thank you," was about all she could express. 

After the service, we hugged and I expounded on my argument with God. She said, "As I came in I said, 'Well, Lord, here I am, alone again.' God told me He was there and you have friends who are here with you. And then, you walked in."

I have nothing else to say. (Well, that's not true!) But I mean, I do not need to explain anything about this. Had I parked closer, I would have been in my car and out of there before I could give a chance for God to speak. Had I not surrendered just moments before that, I may have missed an opportunity to be used by God to bless someone else. None of this, even the choice of where to park was me. It was all God and all for His glory.

"And now you know, the rest of the story!! Paul Harvey, good day!!"

Puzzling Thoughts

I am taking a brief break from the hours upon hours that I have been putting puzzles together in order to get some of my thought down on paper. The thoughts are coming faster than the pieces to the puzzles but like pieces to a puzzle, they can get lost or misplaced. That is why I need to start here with these things.

I have been using my "spare" time during the quarantine to put together puzzles. First off, I didn't even have one. Lesson in life. If you want to put a puzzle together, you have to have one. Fortunately, a friend felt bad for me and sent me one by Amazon. When I looked at the puzzle, it was perfect for me. It was a picture of a craft room-a messy one at that. Just like mine. So, first puzzle had some very significant items that indicated it was "my" puzzle. I have spent the past several years doing quilting. There were quilts in the picture. There was a cat, a teapot and cup, butterflies and a clock. There was a lot of purple. So many things that connected to me, it was perfect.

So, with that puzzle, being the first, I decided to do in my bedroom. It was the only room that I could close the door and prevent the cats from thinking they needed to help when I was not at home. I began. I found all but one edge piece. I was convinced that piece was missing. How much is life like that? We get the edges all put together and feel like we are in a really good place, but there is something missing. Just one piece that makes the rest of the progress slow or you worry about that one piece. What if the manufacturer forgot it? What if it doesn't exist? It really takes a lot of trust and really faith to even start a puzzle. We start thinking all of the pieces are there, hoping, trusting. See, you need faith even to begin.

When I realized there was an edge piece missing, my sister told me, "It will show up. Just keep going." That was great sisterly advice. How often in life have we needed a sister to tell us to just keep going, keep moving forward? I have certainly needed that in more than just waiting for a puzzle piece, I have needed others to hold me up and keep me focused when giving up would have been a lot easier.

Now, back to the puzzle in the bedroom issue. That was the one and only time I did that. I decided I could check the floor for pieces that the cats would possibly knock down. Why? Because that puzzle called my name at night when I really needed to be sleeping. One night it would not let me rest until 4 am. Well, I learned quickly that I needed to put some distance between me and the puzzle. I moved to the living room for the next one.

Sometimes we look at the big picture. Sometimes we look at the one piece. Our focus changes with where we are at a particular time. Staring at the finish helps us to know what it is supposed to look like in the end, but if we only look at the completed project, we don't necessarily notice the really fine details that determine where the piece goes.

I assume the puzzle designer never expects the participant to put the puzzle together without being able to see the original picture.  Sometimes the box only has part of the picture, sometimes they add a picture to the puzzle of the complete puzzle without the boxes distorted one. God doesn't expect us to put our own life together based on not knowing what the original looks like. We really are the puzzle and He is putting us together.

I have yet to have a puzzle put itself together. I have to put the pieces on the table and start by placing them where they need to go. Unlike God, I cannot know exactly what piece goes where, sometimes I am completely convinced that  piece goes in a specific spot. It fits what seems like perfectly, then, when I try to put another piece there, I find there is not a piece to fit. I could force it to work my way, and what would the finished product look like? I don't even want to know, it would be a mess, for sure. But, when I remove that wrongly placed piece and put in the right one, the picture continues toward perfection. I liken this to people or situations in my life that seemingly fit. It looks like a perfect match, surely that person belongs there or that job, or that activity, etc. Then, I am made aware that it is ill placed. It doesn't go there. Sometimes removing the wrong piece is really hard. It sticks together and you really have to pull to get it off of there. That is like life. I tend to cling to the things that God is trying to remove. It is a painful process of removal.

So, here I am, this many years later from the quarantine puzzle period. Life has certainly taken on pieces I never expected. I wish I had kept up on all of the "puzzle" lessons I learned back then. I ended up with putting together a total of 13 puzzles. In fact, I believe I put the last one together then night before my shoulder surgery. That night was the first night I actually spoke directly with Michael via text. He called me that next morning prior to my surgery, and the rest is history. 

Heavy Nurse Heart

 I usually am pretty light hearted on my Facebook page. I try not to get too heavy. I save that for here, because if you are reading this, then you probably really care about what I say. (That's an assumption!)

I have been a nurse for over 39 years.  I have for many of those years worked in the area of maternal health, which means, labor-delivery, post-partum, nursery, and NICU. I have seen just about everything a person can imagine in those years. Thankfully, I did not see what some in my profession saw this past weekend. I have never seen a co-worker gunned down by a visiting "father". (We usually called that type a sperm donor-and not affectionately).  That has to be one of the most horrific events ever. 

When police take their job, there is an expectation of danger. When firemen take their job, there is also an understood threat of danger. But, nurses?? We should not have to go to work in fear for our lives. But, I know for a fact, we often do. There have been many times in my years of working in hospitals that there is a noticeable lack of security, lack of authority given to those hired to keep the hospital safe. I have spent many years complaining about the lack of security. Hospitals talk about it, but they never really expect it, so it is not as important as it should be.  A piece of plexiglass will not keep us safe. Allowing every person in is not safe. 

I recall one incident where I was not there at the time, only heard about it third hand, but knew it was factual. The police were called for a threatening individual and someone, who knows who, decided that we didn't really need them and sent them away. The man was threatening lives!! It happens, it's a real thing, and now in Dallas, the threat was carried out.  

Please, wake up. We need stricter laws of keeping violent prisoners where they belong. We need better security in hospitals. We need every security officer to be properly trained and armed. It is only right. 

Thanks for listening to my rant. 

A Child's Voice

 I was reading a devotional last week by Matthew West and something in that post made me think about what our voice sounds like to God. You know, if you are a parent of a young child or if you ever were, one of the first things that you get so excited about is hearing that child's voice. The simple cry at the birth or the screams that come when you cannot figure out what the baby is trying to say. At times unnerving I am sure for a new parent. The child is trying to tell you something that you’re  unable to comprehend. As the child grows and develops some sounds that resemble words, you either know what they are saying, or you guess. Funny side note, when Ryan came to visit us while we waited for him to be permanently placed with us, he would keep saying, "Huggie, huggie." We all assumed he was just this loving bundle of joy and we would hug him. Weeks into the process it became clear to us that his words were, "Hungry, hungry." OOOPS. (The foster mom wondered about our ability to parent...and so did we!) 

The other day I was in the office and heard a child's voice out in the waiting room. I thought, "That is the most precious sounding little voice." The child was just talking. Probably not saying anything of great significance, but the sound of the voice caused me to pause. It was such an epiphany. I dare you to try and not smile just a smidge when you hear a tiny voice coming out of a tiny body. It is such a sweet innocent sound. Then I thought of my Heavenly Father. Imagine all the times we have "talked" to Him and how he feels. If that small voice of that child stirred my heart like it did and I am made in the image of God, imagine just how excited God gets when he hears the voice of His own children! He loves us, He loves our voice, He loves our tears, He loves our concerns, HE LOVES US!!! And our voice is sweet music to His ears. 

The other amazing thing, do you always understand what a child says? No, just like the "huggie" up above, I did not understand. But God understands the words that we can't even bring to expression ourselves. He has given us the gift of the Holy Spirit who will speak on our behalf when our words can't even be expressed by our mouths or our minds. What an awesome experience. 

So, next time you hear a young child speak, remember, your Heavenly Father wants to hear that from you. He is waiting to have that kind of relationship with you. Chatter away!!

I HATE Waiting!

 Don't you just go crazy when you have to wait for something? In this instant gratification world we live in, waiting has become one of the hardest disciplines to practice. Sometimes the wait is understood, sometimes it is down right annoying. For instance, I have a very old computer that works just fine, except for the initial getting on. It takes forever. This morning I wiggled the mouse, waking up the computer, then went and microwaved my coffee (the invention that probably started this whole instant gratification life). When I got back to my computer, I had another minute ~or maybe even minute and a half to wait for the rest of the boot up to complete. I have gotten used to it, annoying as it may be. 

Another waiting story. Back in October or so, I was involved in an accident of sorts. My car was hit in the parking lot of Walmart. No one was hurt. I was in the store and unaware of the incident. When I got out to my car there were several people waiting to tell me what had happened. We got it all pretty much settled that day. The driver gave me her insurance information and I told her I would pursue it at home. I saw very little, if any, damage on my car. But, I called Geico anyway. You know how they say on there advertisement, "15 Minutes can save you 15%?" I think that is only if you are looking to pay them. I sat on the phone for well over the estimated 45 minutes. It was at one hour when I decided I had suffered through enough "hold" music and I gave up. I thought I would try at a different time of day another day only to have the same thing happen. I gave up completely. Eventually, so as not to keep you wondering, they contacted me and I was well compensated for the "damage" to my car. But, that wait was just nothing short of annoying. 

All of this to be reminded of one other thing in regard to waiting. Have you ever asked Jesus to forgive your sins? That is the one thing that you NEVER have to wait for. He does it as soon (probably even before) you ask. When your heart starts to realize you are a sinner in need of a savior. He is already standing there, forgiveness in His hands, ready to give it to you. It is the most instant event you can experience. You don't have to jump through hoops, you don't have to wait on hold, you don't even have to punch in the time  (as on a microwave). You just have to barely come to the realization that you need salvation and it is already there. 

I am reminded of the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15. "And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son and embraced him." The father didn't sit on his porch and say, "Oh, look, there he is, that wayward no good son of mine. I am going to sit here and wait for him to come to me, he can work his way back into my good graces. I will not only wait, I will make him wait for me to see enough improvement and then I will forgive him." Not at all, he jumped up and ran. No wait, no questions, no condemnation, just forgiveness. That is the picture of your Heavenly Father. He is waiting on you, but you will never ever have to wait on Him for forgiveness.

I hope you do surrender your life and fine the fulfillment you desire. 

A Loss and A Letter

 Today I received the sad news that my mom's sister Marlene died. She has been struggling the past several years with health issues. Sadly, yesterday that struggle ended and we lost another member of my mom's family. 

As I prepared for the news this week, I knew it was coming, I was reminded of a letter I wrote to Marlene just after my husband Jim died. I wanted her to know the truth, I wanted to be sure it was crystal clear. I don't know today if the message got to her heart and what she did with it. I do know I did what God wanted me to do in telling her this message. 

I want to share this letter here, so that I will never be accountable for not giving the message to all who will listen. If you read this letter and get to the end wondering where you stand, please contact me. I will help you find the path. 

If there was one thing I ever wanted my mom to be proud of me for, it would be that she would be proud that I shared Jesus and especially to her family. 

Here is the letter:

"Dear Marlene,

As I think about the shortness of life in the aftermath of Jim’s death, I feel a strong sense of urgency to explain what our life is really all about. I know that in 1959 your sister had a life changing experience and that was probably met with some confusion and skepticism that has lasted many years. I would like to take one more opportunity to explain exactly what took place in Mom and Dad’s lives so many years ago.

When Babe was killed, Mom realized life is but a vapor. Time is short and there is something beyond the grave. What Mom and Dad did at that time was ask Jesus to become the center of their lives, forgive their sins, and reward them with eternal life in Heaven. God did that. They became new creations at the moment they prayed that prayer. They didn’t become perfect, by any means, they only became forgiven followers of Jesus. They lived with hope of a new home when this one was done. 

I cannot continue in my life without telling the story of redemption and forgiveness. It was easy for me to follow the path to Christ because I had parents to direct me that way. However, God has no grandchildren. I cannot get to Heaven based on what Mom and Dad did. My relationship with Jesus is mine alone. No one else could make that decision for me, and although I look like a good person and haven’t really lived a life of question, I came to Christ as a filthy rotten sinner who needed Him to forgive my sin and give me the promise of life with Him. 

Jim made that decision in 1989, he came as a filthy rotten sinner, and asked Jesus to forgive him of his sin and be his Savior. Because of that decision, he lived a life as a new creation in Jesus. I didn’t know him much before he made that change, but people that did tell me of a man who was completely changed, unrecognizable at times. Jesus is the reason Jim had the change. 

So, I wanted to tell you this without it coming from my mouth so that I wouldn’t stumble over words and so that in the quietness of your time here, you can reflect on what I am saying. I would be remiss to not share the message as clearly as I can. 

When God created the earth, it was perfect. In Genesis 3, Eve listened to the lie of Satan and ate of the forbidden fruit. That is the start of the story of Jesus. It was now necessary for life to be sacrificed to cover the sin. It began there with animals to cover their nakedness and continued until Jesus became the perfect sacrifice by living a life without sin and sacrificing His life on the cross. He took upon Himself our sin in order that we could enter into a relationship with God the Father, that is the one and only way that we will find salvation. 

The Bible states that all of us have sinned and we fall short, we miss the mark. The payment for that sin is death, not physical, but spiritual. But the gift that God gives us is eternal life through Jesus. Even while we continue to live a life of sin, Jesus died for us. 

It is a simple and free gift. All that one needs to do is ask Jesus to come and be Lord and Savior of their life and forgive their sin. It is just that simple. 

Please take this letter in love, I hope you make that decision to ask the Lord in, you will never regret it. 

Lovingly, 

Christine"