I have been thinking a lot lately about the lesson I learned about a year ago. I ran across an index card where I had written the verse: "Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart." (Ps. 37:4)
Before last year, I kind of had a backward thinking idea of what this verse means. I thought it to mean that if God got in line with my desires, then life would be good for me. SO TOTALLY WRONG!!
God showed me the true meaning of this verse through hearing a sermon several times by Dr. Charles Stanley. He explained the verse. It was saying, "Line up your desires with what God desires for you." (paraphrase and totally shortened for my writing purposes). In that time of hearing that sermon several times, I realized I was looking at God as the one who would certainly go with my plan if my plan was good. However, I learned that God had a different idea. He wanted me to line up my thinking with His, to make my plans delightful to Him. So, over the rest of the year, I had tried to do that. I gave my future to Him, I told Him I was willing to wait for what He had for me, not to do whatever I wanted and He could come along and bless me.
I did this kind of surrender once or twice before in my life (probably more but I am a slow learner). He has always proven faithful. I remember the full surrender I made on a bridge over the Sanga River near Nundu, Zaire. Shortly thereafter, the full surrender was blessed by a marriage to a wonderful man.
I surrendered by infertility to God. He blessed me with two wonderful adopted children that had I not surrendered, only God knows where they would be today.
I surrendered my widowhood. I cried out to God that I didn't really think it was fair that I had to be widowed when marriage was my passion, that I had worked hard and long and loved my marriage that was quickly snuffed out. He heard my cry, He saw my tears, He reminded me that He was sufficient, I learned to "delight myself in Him" once again.
Well, if you follow my blog or my life at all, you know the next chapter. God remains faithful. He is redemptive, yesterday as I hung up the phone from the Clerk of Courts after making an appointment to get a marriage license, I realized the date. March 23. I will be getting a marriage license exactly 2 years from the day Jim went to be with Jesus. God is so redemptive. He continues to bless me in ways I am so undeserving of.
Can I add one more thought? If you are struggling, if you are weary in your life, let me recommend this one thing, "Delight yourself in the Lord". That starts with a relationship with Jesus. Tell Jesus you are sorry for your sin, that you repent of them and want a relationship with Him. He is faithful.
