The Continued Adoption Story

I had Ryan read the previous blog the other day and he said, "Where is the story of me?"

Well, there is a story, and here is some of it.

We had finished the legal aspect of adopting Dan and immediately put our application in for another child. We also had very busy lives with two businesses and I worked besides. Each time the state would call with a child, there just seemed to be too much going on at the time to think of adding another person to the mix. Years passed and it seemed as though we were probably just going to have Dan and that was all. We had not pursued any other children, we had pretty much resolved that a family of three was enough.

In March of 2000, we had just moved into the house we built for ourselves. Jim had been in the building business for many years and had built many custom homes. Since his business was thriving, he felt we needed to move out where we could have more land in order to have the supplies and vehicles we needed for our business. We built a house with a lot of garage space and a beautiful wooded area behind the house. We were getting yard work done and just getting settled in the house and the phone rang one day...

Jim was home alone, he answered the phone and it was a social worker from the state. She said, "There is a 2-1/2 year old boy who is in foster care, parental rights have been terminated, and he is ready to be placed for adoption. We found your name and we want you to meet him." Jim called me on my cell phone. I was on the way to the vet with our dog. He told me about the conversation and my immediate response was, "Call them back and tell them absolutely not." I was just not in the frame of mind to put myself through that all again. I was fine with how it was. He called them back and told them we were not interested. The social worker said, "Can you just meet him and then decide?"

Well, we agreed and this is what we saw when we went to meet him. He stole our hearts and we agreed at that meeting that he needed to be a part of our family. On the way back home, Dan was in the back seat and I could see his face in the mirror. I said, "Are you laughing?" and Dan said, "No, I am crying, can we go back and get him? Can we keep him? Can we go back tonight when they are sleeping and take him?"

We all had that same feeling but we waited through the process and on May 12, 2000, Ryan came to live in our home. It was all new to us, he was still in diapers and did not speak clearly enough for us to really know what he wanted. I took time off from work to get to know him. We had a great 6 weeks. However, it wasn't great for all of us. Jim struggled, he felt we had taken on too much. He felt the age difference was too great and the challenge of this young of a child was more than we could handle. There were many discussions, we sought counsel, life once again was filled with uncertainty that reminded us that we could really do nothing about some things that happen. I recall sitting in the living room one evening, having spent many many days and nights crying and praying that God would change Jim's heart, and Jim said, "I just can't do this." I said, "Jim, in all the time that I have known you, there is one thing I have never heard you say and that is 'I can't do this.' You have always worked through problems and I have never seen one too big for you." I don't know if that statement was the turning point for Jim, it seemed to have been, because I don't recall the pain or the question after that of what we were going to do with Ryan. He became ours even before we went to court and had it made legal.

I often say Ryan is our "oops" because he really did show up when we least expected. He had brought joy into our lives and a love of life like no other. We are thankful for his early years when someone chose to protect him and give him a foundation on which he can grow. He loves others, he loves kids, he loves life and we LOVE him.