Saying Good-bye to One of the Greatest Men

Not a clue as to why this never got finished. Obviously I got busy and didn't get to it. Well, here it is. sorry it is only almost nine years late...

I have spent the last week thinking of what words I could say to explain what losing my dad to death really feels like. I have wanted this day to come for around 5 years or more, yet, it came crashing down on me almost unexpectedly.

The call came on Monday that Dad was no longer able to swallow, that he was pooling his food and letting liquid run out of his mouth. I honestly knew what this meant. I had said to Renee several month or maybe even a year ago that when Dad quit eating, he would die. That was keeping him alive, and that was really all that was keeping him alive. So, that call was the beginning of the end in my view.

I called the sisters to let them know. I had no idea of how long we would be waiting, but I knew it was at least coming. On Tuesday while I was in a meeting at work, I had a call from the doctor who had examined Dad that morning. I returned his call on the way home and he informed me of really what I already knew. Dad is dying. On that trip home, I made several phone calls. I was thinking how great modern technology is, since I didn't have to wait to be home to make the calls, that hour drive ended up being a good time to get all the calls made that I needed to.

Jim, Dan, and I went to the nursing home when I got home from work. Dad was peaceful, more peaceful than I had seen him in years. He didn't have that look of confusion or wanting to be somewhere else, he just looked like he was resting. I prayed that he would feel the arms of Jesus opening to him and that he would pass quietly into his eternal home. Pastor Jason and Marty Schueller came to call on us. Pastor Jason shared scripture and some insight into how God's view is so different than ours. That dark comes before light, death comes before life, that certainly Dad was sitting on the edge of being born into his new life, one he had been waiting so long to experience. It was a most comforting thought.

Wednesday was the day Ryan was scheduled to have his wisdom teeth out. I had to take him to Milwaukee  Leila decided to come over on Wednesday and go home on Thursday so she could care for her grandsons. Matt was going to be flying in on Thursday and no one else had solid plans on what they were going to do.

Leila arrived and spent time with Dad. The rest of Wednesday is a bit foggy. I remember bringing Ryan home from the dentist, but I really cannot recall what happened the rest of that day.

Thursday we spent with Dad.  Renee came up to spend the day here. Dad continued to look peaceful although his breathing was becoming more irregular. The nurses began to medicate him to make the breathing less labored. We were on the phone to many people. Some were asking if they should come, others were content with not seeing Dad this way. Last minute plans were being made since we had decided to donate Dad's brain to research. We knew it was going to be soon. Matt arrived and by the time he came, Leila had decided against going back home. Michele assured her that she did not need to be at work the next day and Michele and Tim were coming over and bringing Mike with them so they could see Grandpa one last time.

Michele, Tim, Mike, Oliver, and Elliott arrive late evening on Thursday. The boys were treated to some chocolate ice cream from the staff at Rock Haven. They were pretty excited to be eating ice cream and it was so fitting since this was one of the last pleasures Dad had experienced in this life.