O Christmas Tree

2018 Farewell

It is one of the most beautiful trees I have ever seen in my life. I can't really help that it was mine. It was!

The tree came to be ours somewhere around 1997 or so. I think we got it on clearance right before Christmas that year. The reason I really remember that is because as I recall, we were in the early stages of  designing and building our second and LAST parade home. Life was a bit crazy, but we fortunately happened upon this deal of a tree.

2014

So, for the next many years, the house was decorated at Christmas time with this beautiful tree. I would be less than honest if I said, 1: I put the tree up yearly and 2: I decorated the tree yearly.
The reason those would be false statements is because I chose not to put up a tree several times due to my work schedule or our holiday plans. The other reason is because at one point in time, I know this sounds a bit crazy, but we hired someone to decorate our house for Christmas. Thus, I did not put it up every year. But, I put it up often.

This tree was work, it assembled by putting each branch in its proper hole after shaping each branch out of the box. I cannot even tell you how tall the tree was, but is was sufficiently tall. I know my mom came over several times and help shape the branches for me. Each branch was color coded with paint on the metal part that in time eventually wore off. I had to create a new method of marking the branches. I found various colors of duct tape and that along with twist ties worked great. As I assembled the tree from the bottom, I strung the lights too. This tree was created long before pre-lit trees, so each year the lights would get strung. I collected ornaments over the years which were gold, red, purple and gold wire ribbon. An angel topped the tree.

Over the years, I purchased other trees to put up in other places in my house, so even if the big tree wasn't up, we usually managed to have at least a tree up. In 2010 we opted not to put any decorations up, for this I am still very thankful, and if you want to know why, you'll have to read the blog from that year.

This year, I started the season with the thought that it was a good year to only put up the smaller tree. I had nearly resolved that the big tree would be up one last time, maybe next year, and then it would be retired. But, as the season got closer and I had moved some furniture in my living room, I realized the empty spot would be perfect for the big tree. So, I decided, this is the year that the tree is put up and this is the year the tree is retired. I committed to getting it out of my house as soon as the season was over. It had brought us years of pleasure, and it was time to move on...besides, it was a beast to put up and that was getting to me.

2016

So, up it went. It sat a few days undecorated once it was finally completely assembled. Lights were on and working fine. Angel went to the trash can because I noticed she had some melting spots near the lights. I figured a fire was not really the desired look. We went and purchased a new star and promptly returned it when it decided to only stay on for one night before dying. We found a white star tree topper for a good deal and bought some gold spray paint and completed the tree with that star and the ornaments that adorned the tree all of these years. The tree was BEAUTIFUL; too beautiful. I sat in the living room and admired the beauty of this tree, I took pictures, I laid on the floor and took pictures and continued to admire how beautiful it had become. I picked up ornaments several times that the cats had decided looked better on the floor than the tree. I didn't let that stop me from my next thought, which I actually spoke in words.

"Jim, I am keeping the tree. I cannot say good-bye to it yet. It is way too pretty to be retired. Change of plans." And in true male fashion, he said, "___________."

I had the lights on a timer to stay on until about 2 am. I wanted to make sure the tree would be on when I got home from work each night. That night, I was not working and went to bed at a normal time. Later on, I couldn't sleep and decided to get up rather than toss and turn. I opened the door from out bedroom to the living room and much to my dismay, all but one string of lights was out. Horror of horrors! My beautiful tree was not as beautiful, and all this meant was more work to make it right.

So, the decision was made. The tree would leave. If I had to fix it, I may as well put that energy into taking it down and selling it. So, since I had some great pictures of it, I put it on Marketplace and it sold. I undecorated it, kept some of the most sentimental ornaments, and sent it on its way to a new home.

That is the story of the tree.

Christmas

As I ready my house for Christmas, and wonder with each step I take why I am bothering, I think of what it must be like to not have a complete understanding of the holiday. You see, it is very commercialized, if you hadn't noticed. There are many who ramp up the excitement for the holiday and push down profusely the true meaning of what we are celebrating. Why? What causes us to be so over the top excited about a day and so under the bottom when it comes to the true meaning?

So, I do get caught up in the excitement of the season, but I really must not let this one pass without saying something about the reason we celebrate. Christmas is an exciting time, but you see, it is not my absolute favorite holiday. That spot is reserved for the real meaning on Christmas, which comes on Easter.

It all started in a garden. In Genesis 3, Satan-the Deceiver-had a plan. His goal was to make sure that years and years later, people would be caught up in his plan so much, they would miss the true message. He has done a good job of fooling many, but he does not have the final word. God's plan was better, but it came with a price. God gave laws to man, Moses received the Ten Commandments and then we read about many laws given to the Jews regarding just about everything you can imagine. We tend to speed read through this part of the Bible because quite honestly, it is overwhelming, boring, and really doesn't apply to what we do now. But why did God give so many laws? Because he knew that we would never be able to keep them all. We need a sacrifice to remove the sin or the breaking of the rules. That sacrifice came in the Old Testament in the form of animals. Sheep, lambs, goats, birds. It got quite bloody and gross and I cannot imagine the smell of the blood that covered the altar. Not so pleasant a thought.

But then, in the fullness of time, as in, when God knew it was right, he sent a baby. Not just any baby, one born of a virgin. One whose birth was prophesied of hundreds of years earlier. God not only caused the miracle of the birth, but he actually used ungodly people to fulfill this prophecy. The prophet said the baby would be born in Bethlehem. Mary and Joseph didn't even live there. However, God used Caesar Augustus, a egomaniac who thought himself so important that he needed to count how many people he was ruling over. Otherwise, Mary and Joseph would have had no reason to leave Nazareth to go to Judea, to the city of Bethlehem. They were demanded to go there because Joseph's ancestry was connected to David. Since David was from Bethlehem, that is where they had to go to register. Apparently, it isn't like today where you could just fill out a paper saying where your lineage was from and send it in. They were required to go to that place. So, years prior, God put that thought into  the prophet Micah to say, " But as for you, Bethlehem Ephrathah...from you One will go forth from Me to be ruler in Israel." (Micah 5:2)

So, yes, he came and fulfilled many of the prophecies. But, the greatest of all was the fact that he took the sin of the world, yours, mine, everyones. He became that sacrificial lamb. He went to the cross having never sinned. He asked if there was another way, but he knew the plan and he knew there was not another way for mankind to experience redemption. He died a horrific death and was fully and completely dead. Three days later, he rose and was fully alive. He appeared to more than 500 people. Some who didn't believe until they touched his hands and saw the scars that were there. He later was taken up in a cloud and is seated in Heaven, preparing a place for those who have accepted his gift of salvation.

So, that is the reason Christmas excitement is understandable, but without Easter, it would mean nothing. As you decorate and rush and buy gifts and do good things for others, please don't forget the true reason for why Jesus came. If you haven't ever asked him to forgive your sin and come and reside in your heart, make this Christmas the one that changes everything. A simple prayer, one that says you know you miss the mark, you cannot keep the Law, you need a savior, is all it takes to have a new life. I hope that you will experience this now, you will never regret that choice.

Choose Joy???

I just listened to a sermon based on the text in James 1 which says, "Consider it all joy , my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance."

This is not the time in my life when choosing joy is an easy task. I think it sounds almost impossible. It is 1:00 am as I type this entry. I do so because this command weighs heavy on my heart. I have had to make some very serious and painful decisions in my day, but none as painful and difficult as the one I made today. I really wished for life to be different. I really wanted my children to grow up with a strong relationship with the Lord. However, life can take turns we are not always ready to take nor are we ready to handle them on our own strength.

Choosing joy in the midst of a storm is really the best option we have. After all, the verse doesn't assure us of an easy life, full of happiness with an occasional bad day here and there. No, it guarantees that we will have trials, hardships, disappointments. This is the reality of the life we live in a sinful fallen world. I have experienced hardship and suffering this past year in ways that I would absolutely never have chosen to go through. Sometimes I find myself asking God for a reason I have to wait so long for an answer to this particular prayer to be answered. Over and over again I am reminded that God answers every prayer, sometimes it is just not the way we thought.

Tonight I cried out to Jesus to protect my son, to heal his heart, to remind him of the relationship that Jesus is waiting to have with him. Crying out to Jesus is sometimes the only thing I can do, and believe me, he has heard me begging and pleading many times for healing and help for him.

In the cries, I am reminded to keep my eyes on the One who made the sun, moon, and stars and every living creature. Who knows the very number of hairs on my head and sees a tiny sparrow fall to the ground. I pray that memories of lessons learned about God's faithfulness and lovingkindness will be present in the mind of my child. To remember that we gave him back in dedication to the Lord and that he remains and forever will be in the care of the Creator of the universe.

Joy, choose it, knowing that in Christ all things are possible. Even the seemingly impossible situations that we find ourselves in.

Death, where is your sting?

This is a difficult writing that I am attempting. In fact, I thought the words would just flow, but they aren't. The thoughts in my head are coming from every different direction and I am struggling with being able to organize them into a meaningful writing. So, if this seems as though I am rambling, please excuse that. I want to make the message clear, but that really isn't my job. My job is to be obedient and write even when it isn't really sounding all eloquent and precise.

So, in light of that explanation and until further clarity of mind comes, this is what I have:


As I sit thinking about the sudden loss of a woman this past week, I keep hearing God telling me that he knew all along. He knew before the beginning of time that on Friday morning at around 11:30, someone would be turning left into the mall and that would be the end of life on this earth.

It is painful for us who remain to go through the loss of a loved one. It is especially difficult when there was no time to prepare for such a change. But really, God was preparing this all along. God gave the family a wonderful vacation in England this past year. They were together seeing things that will forever be in their mind's eye. Precious moments that I am sure at the time didn't seem as special as they do now. That was a precious gift.

We do have a blessed hope in knowing that this life is not the final chapter.  In fact, in Christ, there is no final chapter. We have the hope of eternity when we put our faith in Jesus.  When Jesus rose from the grave, he put death to death. In that, we have great hope of eternity with him.

Beyond Quilting

As you can see, a lot of my blog has been focused on this quilt that I am trying to complete. I have been at a standstill in the progress as of late due to just being down right busy with other 'stuff.'

Trying to add thoughts to this blog has taken a back seat to many of the the other things going on too. I can't even really tell you that I have accomplished a lot of other things while not quilting or blogging, but they must be out there.

The thoughts have been racing through my head about one subject that I feel I really need to get down on paper before I explode or implode, or both. It is really a metaphor that has been hanging over my head for weeks now. Today, I want to get it down in written form so I can move on.

Quilting has pretty much consumed me this year. If you have read my previous posts, you can clearly see that truth. I feel that consumption has been a catalyst for my writing.

As I have worked on my quilt, I have thought about the process and how it relates so closely to my life. When I start a square, it begins by looking at a piece of paper that makes really no sense all by itself.

As I work toward the goal of piecing together the block, even still, the small little pieces coming together look to make no sense at all. Sometimes I look at one fabric that goes in the piece and I wrinkle up my nose at how ugly the color is. I would never choose that one particular color in a quilt of my own making. I wonder why someone would like that ugly color?

I move on, adding piece by piece. I see form taking shape, I see colors complimenting each other, I stand corrected as to the value of that one particular color.

Progress is being made and eventually the square comes together in full form. I see how pretty that one square is, but one square will not a quilt make. The quilt is far from complete when one square is made. There are more, more piecing, more colors, more patterns and shapes, more pressing the pieces so that they lie in the right direction, etc.

My squares are so far from perfect. It is difficult to make the whole quilt work correctly without making adjustments to the size and shape of each square. Sometimes cutting away a bit here and a bit there and other times completely scrapping the whole square and starting over with more careful precision.

As I put the squares together, I realize how much this is like life. If I focus on the pattern as I see it and how alone it makes no sense, I would not be able to make the square. If I don't make the square, how will the quilt be made? So, I take a piece here and a piece there, following the instructions. Still, that close up view is still not clear. It is far from beautiful, the ugly color is still there. I think of my own life, how focusing on one small part can distract from the end product. Today (as in this year) I have had my world turned upside down. The place I have loved to go has become a living hell for me, I have no option but to keep going, but I am miserable. That is that color green, that frustration of the seams not being right, the ripping out and starting over. Other issues in life are trying. I have an adult child who needs parenting still, can I tell you, it is harder to parent an adult than a child? It is like finding out that if I put the fabric face up instead of face down, it doesn't look right. So, I begin again, or I just put the wrong piece aside and start over.

As I work continuously on my quilt, I also see other similarities in life. One particular square was just not looking good. I could do absolutely nothing to fix it. I tried making another one, same issue. So, in this case I reached out to a friend who spent time meticulously ironing out the square to make it work. Sometimes in life, we just need to really give it up, knowing we cannot fix the mess on our own strength. That friend came and used heat and water and forced that fabric to do what I needed. Had I refused that help, I would have a square that continued to look horrible. Just as she pressed and added heat and pressed, sometimes that is what I have to do with the mess I have made of my life. I have to surrender it over to a Master who can iron out the imperfections and give the forgiveness that my life needs.

So, as I continue, and I put the squares together, and I don't look up close, but pull away from the quilt, I can see the masterpiece it has become (well, not completely, because I am still not done with it). Look how life is like that. The circumstances we live in right now are the small pieces of our quilt. They make no sense in and of themselves. As we pull back, we see how God is using these things to put together our life. Much like my quilt, it isn't finished. I can however see that it is becoming more and more like what it is supposed to be. So, when trials come and our focus is on that one little piece, yes, we need to pay attention. But God is working all of it for the final masterpiece and we will pull back and see each area becomes a part of the whole and each trial builds character and we end up being a completed work of art that God had orchestrated in us.

Romans 8:28 says, And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  Keep that thought in mind while you work on the little pieces and the squares of the quilt we call Life. 

Thanks for reading

Quilt??? Who me???

I have a quilt kit that Jim bought me years ago, not even really sure how many. However, Jim has more confidence in my ability than he should and now, this many years later, I am attempting to make it.

I have made three squares so far. This is by far one of the most challenging projects I have done, I am not sure why someone (Jim) has so much confidence in me, he is clearly misguided. I have not tried to fool him all these years, I really am incompetent. He believes otherwise-this makes me love him and dislike him all the more.

So, after doing two practice runs on square number 3, I finally decided to put on my big girl panties and go for broke.

If you dare, you can follow along in the steps of paper piecing. I watched no less than 20 YouTube videos on how to paper piece, I thought about it when I was supposed to be doing other things, it consumed me. But, I believe I have a small glimmer of success.

Here are the steps.

 First we start with the paper, this kit has several options of making each block. I chose the paper piecing because I saw on the million videos that I watched how it makes such precise points. I wanted that (because I am so...sharp?).

Second step, once I had my fabric cut to the measurements that the instructions said, was to arrange the fabrics so that I knew which one went to which. I struggle with being able to match things up and find I make a lot of mistakes by thinking I am doing something correctly and then finding I had made a huge mistake. I spend a lot of my life ripping out.

You don't have to, but I stiffen my fabric just prior to sewing it together. I like how it works with it stiff.

Step three is to join the pieces in order of the pattern. So, you start with number one, the foundation piece. Place the fabric right side down on your mat and place the paper on top of it. This is one of those sewing styles that you have to really think backwards on in order to make it end up correctly. Once you have your first piece down, you can add number 2. Some people suggest pinning the piece number 1 in place prior to adding piece 2. I didn't do this, but it is probably not a bad idea when starting out. It may keep you from making a mistake like I did on my 8th time...yes, the 8th one I messed up. I tell you, the struggle is real. 

Next, take the piece 2 and place it right side up on the fabric that you have right side down...right side to right side (finally, something that reminds me of normal sewing). Think in reverse when you line it up. The piece 2, when sewn in place will need to cover the area on the paper that is marked 2. 

 The line that you match up is the one between the area marked 1 and the area marked 2. (this picture you can see that line in on an angle at the left of the paper. The solid line is the one you sew on. Some of the videos I watch had arrows on those lines indicating which direction you would stitch them on your machine. This pattern doesn't specify that, and I went either direction, depending mostly on which way I had it in my hand when I got to the machine.

 I folded back the paper to be sure I had the fabric close to but not off the line.

 Then, I pinned the fabric on that stitching line, that assures me that what I see next will be correct when I finish stitching.

Make sure this fabric when the seam is opened will cover the area 2. 

 Here I "audition" the fabric before I bravely go the the machine. Hold the fabric up to the light and make sure that when you turn your seam, your number 2 area is completely covered with fabric. (this is where you make sure the bulk of your fabric is not in that area, because when you turn it, it will be).

 Now, the machine is used. Set your stitch length very small. I have a very old machine and it has no computer or brain that tells me the length of the stitches, only a dial that sets the length. I put it close to the smallest I can get. If you have a newer machine with a stitch length read out, they suggest 1-1.5 for your stitch length. The reason you want your stitches small is because it perforates the paper and makes it much easier to remove in the end. You sew right along the line between 1 and 2. Stay precisely on the line so that you get the crispness you are working for.

 Snip those pesky tails when you finish the seam. Oh, and back stitch at the start and end of the line.

 Turn you fabric and finger press it. If you are happy with it, as in, it covers that area it is supposed to cover, set it with the iron.

Now, the really tricky part that you have to stop and think before you do this. Some of the videos make this look so easy. It is easy, easy to mess up, easy to forget...easy!!!!

Take a piece of card stock or a thin ruler (have no idea where this one came from but it sure works great!). Place the straight edge on the line for area 3 and fold the paper over.

 Take your "Add a Quarter" ruler--see, I do need all the tools. Place the add-a-quarter on the edge of the folded paper and with a rotary cutter, cut off the remaining fabric that you will no longer need (save any larger pieces though, you never know when they may come in handy).

 I kind of eyeball piece three and make sure it is making sense to me. Then I turn the whole piece over and match up piece 3 to the edge that I just trimmed making sure to place it so that the whole area 3 will be covered once I sew it and turn it.

 I audition this one also, just to be really sure.

 And, I pin it along the line because I am really cutting it close with the match. (Had I known this was cut so close, I would have added just a touch to my pieces.)

 Back to the machine. I stitch along the solid line and remember to back stitch.

 Trim the tails.

 Finger press and then set with iron.

 Now, isn't that just what you thought it would be??? NO!!!

 There are several lines on the pattern. It helps to make sure you know what they are for. The dashes are where you cut, the solid is where you sew. So, now, we trim...be very careful not to cut the solid lines or you will start over.

 Line up your ruler on the dashed lines and cut away the excess fabric.

 Be very sure you are on the dash. As you can see here, I am not. I did that to show the line clearly. Trim away all three sides of your triangle.

 And here you have your first piece of completed paper piecing.

 Repeat for the four of the same.

 Then make the four of the other part of the block.

 Now, place them together according to the directions.

 Sew the quarters.

 Then the halves.

 And attach both halves to make a whole.

 You can hardly see it, but I put the border on the square.  Because nothing is ever exact, despite my trying, I had to fudge the border a bit to make the block the correct finished size.

 Here are the ones I did for practice and then the finished one at the end. If at first you don't succeed,

 try again before you cut into your special fabric.

I hope you enjoyed my tutorial.