HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

 Those are three of the most painful words in some people's' lives. For others, it is just a greeting we hear every year, with some amount of sentiment, but really nothing we think about much. Just another greeting card holiday that restaurants and other retail places can make money as they focus on a theme. 

For me, I never look at Mother's Day as just another day. I really recall the pain of not being a mother and wanting to be for many years (which now looks like a few days in comparison). When I got married back in 1990, I knew there was a strong possibility that children would not be an option. But, I had prayed for a husband and made a promise to God that if He would provide a man, I would raise children to honor Him. When infertility was the obvious path we were on, I questioned why God would place us (Jim and I) together if He already knew that we would never conceive a child. Did He have a bigger purpose? Well, of course He did, He always does. 

So, come Mother's Day 1994, I made a silent declaration that I would NEVER go to church again on Mother's Day to be reminded that I am not one and to have that thrown into my face again. I know well meaning people say nice things, but the pain was raw and personal and I had had enough, could not do it any longer. 

That summer, in August, the dream I had of becoming a mother became a reality. We were given a foster child with the intention of adopting him when all of the legalities were taken care of. So, I never had to face another Mother's Day being motherless. 

Six years later, on Mother's Day weekend, we were blessed with another gift and our second son came to our family. It was the greatest Mother's Day gifts I had ever had. The question was answered, God did have a bigger better plan, He always does. Had we had our own biological children, who knows where these two would be? 

As I was sitting in church today, the pastor read a poem about motherhood. I nearly cried, one, thinking of those who aren't mothers and want to be, two, thinking of those who are motherless, and three, thinking of the shortcomings I had as a mother. I was not that good at it. I fell way short in so many categories. But, I did complete the task and both of those sons are now men. 

So, if you are in a category where this day is not great for you, know that I understand.