Saturday, December 5, 2015

A Follow Up

I began expressing some thoughts last evening on Facebook. What I wrote there just scratched the surface of what my deep thoughts are. Those thoughts ran through my head most of the night, I slept some, but I did not sleep soundly. When I really did awaken, I prayed that God would allow me to fall back to sleep. This prayer was not answered the way I wanted. Instead, I felt I needed to come here and work on completing the thoughts that I had prior to going to bed. I knew that I needed to follow that nudge or I would waste these thoughts.

I really like the movie, "Crash". Not sure is many remember it, but the theme was a connection between many lives that really were not connected in an obvious way. I feel like that is why my thoughts are not letting me rest; there is a connection in so many of the things I am thinking about.

Let me start with the crisis in San Bernadino where 14 people lost their lives at the hand of an ISIS terrorist. I heard of it, thought about it being another terrible tragedy in the lives of people I didn't know or have any connection to. Then, I read a post on Facebook by my cousin. She stated that it had been a tragic week and she was thankful that her sons and she were safe. I don't know California geography so never made the connection as to how close that was to her. I contacted her after seeing her post and found that the massacre that took place was within one half mile of where she works and the apartment where all of the arsenal was found was within a mile of her home. I am thankful she is all right.

Recently there was a tragedy that many people in the area were aware of and commented on. A police officer named Ryan Copeland was killed in a head on collision while working as a policeman. I didn't know Ryan but from all that was said about him, he sounded like an outstanding person. His father is my husband's step brother. Although we have little to no contact with that part of Jim's family, he was nonetheless connected to us.

Friends of ours from church tragically lost their 17 year old daughter this week. Maria has struggled. We have hope in Christ that her struggle is over and she has been made whole.

Both of my kids have been deeply touched by the loss of Maria. Ryan talked to me about how he felt bad for her because he knew how she was treated by other people, he said no one escapes the pain of others not being nice. He was honest and pained by the tragedy. Dan asked me to accompany him to the visitation because Maria's dad was a teacher of his and really took Dan under his wing in high school. He felt he needs to be able to express his condolences and offer something of himself to the family. I did not expect to hear this from either of my kids. It touches a mother's heart when she feels she did something right (when it seems we've done nothing right)

I was watching the web page for the obituary for Maria and saw an article about a man being arrested for robbing a bank this week in Janesville. I clicked on the article and read it. In that article I read that the person who was arrested is Seth Gardner. I know is mother. I know that he has a long criminal record and has been in prison a couple of times. My heart breaks for a mother who loves her son and yes has to see him end up in this kind of situation. But, a connection that I didn't realize until just before going to bed last night.

Another friend from church posted that her week was one of the worst. That 27 years she has carried a memory that was brought right up front in light of this bank robbery. I don't know if she was at the bank when the recent event happened, but I do know she works for this bank. I also know that years ago she as working in a bank that was robbed and a co-worker was killed. I am sure even if she was hundreds of miles from the bank when this took place, those memories had to be real and raw.

I have a friend who is being treated for cancer. She faces surgery on the 2nd of January. She is a faithful friend. I cannot even begin to explain our friendship and though we are separated by many miles, we are as close because of the bond we have in Jesus Christ. We were chatting online last night, I was sharing about the death of this young lady. She asked her name so that she could hold up this family in prayer. Linda is the epitome of prayer warrior. She doesn't just say she will pray, she PRAYS!! I am honored to be her friend. As you can imagine, she has many, and I am so thankful that God allowed me to be one of hers.

Last Sunday in church, I was struck by a thought of my need to be more knowledgeable about scripture. Not just knowing what it says, but to be able to defend it and to explain it to others. I was overcome by a hunger I have not really ever had before. Since my dad died, I have read the Bible nearly every day. I can't say that reading the Bible through in a year has changed me a lot, but it has become a discipline that I had not had prior to Dad's death. I started in honor of him. I fell off course a couple of times, but I got back on and have been doing well at the activity. But, absorption is challenging. It has become  more of an exercise than a learning. However, I am not going to give up getting into the word daily. I can find time to do this, even if it means less sleep or less of other things that are not important.

One last thing, I have carried a burden for months now at the tragedies that have occurred so close to my life. The tragedies of the losses of marriages. I had a month or so that every week there was another failed or failing marriage brought to my attention. I ache. I cannot express the sorrow. I cry for these losses, I pray diligently for the people whose lives have been touched by this. I pray for conviction for those who have sought happiness outside of their marriage. I have prayed for the lives of unborn children being brought into this world by way of these illicit relationships. There is pain, I try not to judge. I know nothing of the secret parts of the lives of these who choose to walk away, but I do know that marriage is hard work. I do know that love is a choice and that we are not promised happiness anywhere in the Bible. So, I will keep on praying. Praying for the ones who are in this situation and praying for protection of marriages that appear fine. If you have arrived at this point in this reading. please, please, please, make me stay accountable to you for my marriage and for my commitment to studying to show myself approved by God, a workman that does not need to be ashamed, rightly able to divide the word of truth--2 Timothy 2:15 (my paraphrase)

Thanks for sharing in my thoughts.

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