God's Unbelievable Love for Me

I really should write my blog as soon as the idea hits my brain. Instead, I write a little one liner in my notes on my iPad with the false sense of remembering what that brief little line even meant at the time I wrote it down.

I will attempt however to make some reasonable amount of meaning from the words I wrote down several weeks ago.

In the first few days and maybe weeks into my new life of being without Jim, I was often reminded deep in my soul of how much I meant to Jim. He was very good at letting me know that I meant the world to him. Sometimes I wondered why in the world I was so special to him. I really do not think I earned or deserved him loving me as much as he did.

I know that often in the death of a person, we tend to canonize him by the things that we say. I don't want to appear guilty of this by false information. Jim really did love me. People often told me that it was so obvious how much he loved me. I knew this, I took it for granted at times. I mean, "Of course he does, we are married and we take care of each other." But, since his death, I have seen in many more ways how he really did love me and how undeserving I am of his love.

But, in all of these thoughts, what really came to mind is that Jim had such a strong imperfect love for me. Yes, it was real, it was fierce, it was long-lasting, but it was imperfect. That brought me to the realization that God has the perfect love for me. As much as I valued and recognized the strength of Jim's love, I saw how insignificant it is in the grand scheme of life. God's love is so much more. Jim loved me through some rough times and I am sure there were times of doubt as to whether our love would survive through the hard times, but GOD! His love never even comes close to getting there. God's love for me (and you) never goes to that point of wondering if it can last through this next dark time in life. God's perfect love never gives up, never runs out, never dies.

So, in the sorrowful days that follow the death of my beloved husband and best friend, I am once again reminded of the Hand that holds me, the God who loves me and the One who has sifted through His hands everything that will touch my life.

I am thankful to have had a husband whose love for me really pointed my gaze upward to the One who loves me best.