Return to Rest

 I subscribed to a unique program last month in order to help memorize scripture. Scripture memory has never been a super easy process for me and certainly not attainable when I put forth no effort. So, I thought this way sounded kind of fun. The plan is called DWELL. I found it on Facebook-of all places. 

The way it works is like this: Each month a packet arrives in the mail. In the packet are three temporary tattoos, a key chain tag, and a card with a devotional to go along with the verse that is chosen to memorize. The artwork is unique in that it is the first letter of each word of the verse, thus allowing you to be able to recall the verse. 

This month's verse is Psalm 116:7. You may have gotten that on your own, it is a bit tricky to see that reference, but once you know what you are looking at, it becomes much more clear. 

The verse says, "Return to your rest my soul, for the LORD has been good to you." 

The first part I have to explain is when I actually opened this packet. I was just getting up for work on Tuesday evening. (I work nights now, so it was my normal waking time.) Since I work nights and live in a fog during the times I am working, my first response was, "Oh! I can go back to bed!" However, I do not think that is the message God was giving me...nor would my employer appreciate that sentiment. So, I went to work, but I thought  little about the verse. I hadn't put the tattoo on my arm at that point, so the thoughts of it were not predominant. But yesterday I did apply it and then started working on getting it memorized. 

Memorizing can become just an brain exercise, I need more than that. I need to understand the meaning of the verse and how I can apply it to my life. In the chaos that I am living in right now, REST is something I am not really focused on. I am focused on getting every piece of possessions dealt with, everything I own needs to find a new home, here, there, or somewhere else. That's a lot of stuff to think about. I need to sell my condo, I need to find a new home. I am stressed over the idea of starting work at a new place after having a nearly 31 year history at my present place of employment. I have a new marriage with a great husband, I cannot neglect him or our marriage. I have friends and family who are affected by my choices. I am leaving a church I love, I am leaving a group of ladies that I have done life with over the past several years and even through Covid. The list could go on and on as to what stressors exist in my life right now. But God's direction to me is-REST! But not just walk away from every responsibility, not sleep, not vacation, but REST. I believe He is telling me to let it be cared for by Him. 

He gives me a very good reminder in the second part of the verse. "For the LORD has been good to you." Oh, my! I could not even scratch the surface of the list of good the LORD has done for me. I will work backwards. Today, he gave me a good time with Bible study (although, we only shared and prayed), the women God has given me are amazing. He gave me a husband who although we have only known each other a short 6 months, knows me so well. He "observes" a lot and tells me what he sees. He is kind and compassionate. He leads me to the throne of our King almost daily (sometimes I am not awake or home). He thanks me for what I do and he tells me all the time that he loves me the way I am and he thinks I am wonderful. Let me just tell you, that does a lot for me. He makes the bed because he knows that makes me happy. I do not deserve him, but I am grateful that God gave him to me. 

There are daily reminders of the goodness of God in our lives. I keep thinking of how I arrived at where I am and how God has been faithful through the rough times and the easy times. 

I think of about five years ago when Jim and I were looking for a place to call home, I recall trying so hard to let God take control. I caught myself trying so hard to manipulate the situation and get into a house that would not have been right for us. We were trying to live more cheaply and that would have not done it. I really liked this particular  house, it was a bit like a trimmed down version of the one we were in, but the price was too high and the increasing offering price kept being rejected. I realized after three rejections that I was doing exactly what I had asked God to do, I thought I could take over and He didn't really need to be concerned. He showed me otherwise and when I surrendered my will to His direction, he led us to the condo we are in. God knew Jim would be leaving me in short order and that I needed a lot less to deal with (although, He let me keep enough stuff that I am once again dealing with "stuff"). But this home has worked out so well, we were back in town, close to our church, had enough space to entertain as we loved to do, and it has been essentially maintenance free-an important factor for a widow! 

There are so many other things that God has done in my life. When I could not have children, he not only gave me two sons, he gave me a husband who was willing to go the hard way and raise a family for a second time. Jim was a great dad and a great husband. I am not sure how I am so blessed to have been afforded two great husbands. 

I have had a great career. Although I have done a lot of things with my nursing degree, I feel the present position I am in is absolutely the best kept secret in nursing. I love caring for the most innocent of lives and getting them to a point of going home to their parents. Over the years I have developed some great friendships with parents of my patients. When one couple showed up at Jim's funeral, it spoke volumes as to the value that the friendship had for both them and me. When I get cards and Facebook messages from former patients' parents, it touches my heart deeply. These years in the NICU are some of the best in my career and I am grateful that I am able to move on and continue in this role. God has provided for that. 

So, now that I have said some and by all means not even close to all, God has been so good.  So, the second part of the verse just reminds me, "the LORD has been good to you." This is an ongoing promise. He did it and will continue to do it. He is the God who does not change, circumstances in our lives may change-I am in the midst of that now, but GOD NEVER CHANGES. He also never sleeps or slumbers. Which means, He is paying attention. So, I can rest. I am looking forward to what He has in store for me on this next great adventure. 

Thanks for reading.