Bible Reading

 I have put a challenge out on Facebook for others to join me in reading through the Bible this year. Let me tell you about why this has become so very important to me.

My dad was a Godly man who spent hours reading his Bible every day. It could have been considered an occupational hazard since he was a pastor. But, he was committed to it, and I watched for years as he cherished his quiet time. For many years at our dinner table growing up, back when families actually ate dinner at a table at the same time, Dad would always end our meal with Bible reading. I hated it! It was boring and I cannot for the life of me remember one word of what I heard in all of those years. (My sisters could weigh in on this-they probably listened-one of them anyway!) But, suffice it to say, Bible reading is in my DNA. 

But, it didn't become habit until the day my dad went to Heaven. That was the day, October 18, 2014 that I told myself, "You are going to start reading the Bible daily!" And I started. I finished the One Year Bible that year, starting in late October. Then I believe I used the One Year Bible for 2015. I was then introduced to the 5 Day Bible Reading plan that I have used ever since. It has worked quite well for me, however, not without fail. 

Stupidly, when life got tough and I went through a really dark time in my life, I quit. I could hardly put one foot in front of the other and instead of digging in and sticking with it, I quit. That was a dumb decision. I regret it and won't allow that to happen again. 

So, this is my encouraging advice to you. When you feel like quitting, feeling like you don't have the time or the energy-stay the course. Keep going. Ask the group for support. Be accountable to the group or to someone privately. Just KEEP ON!!!!! 

When I fell to these times of stopping, one thing I found helpful was to just pick up at the date of the day I could regroup and start again. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to go back and catch up. Just start on the day you are at and push forward. It will become more enjoyable and fulfilling if you forgive yourself and start again. No pressure!! 

Every year I seem to find myself circling a reading that was meaningful to me. For 2019 and 2020 I circled Psalm 27. Take a look at it. It is very encouraging and for this year I am going to try and memorize at least the verses that really speak to me. Maybe even the whole Psalm...not making any promises, but a good start may just happen. (You can ask me how it is going!) 

So, be encouraged, friends. Remember what the Psalm says, "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."  (119:105) We really need a light in this dark world. 

An Interuption

I don't usually write fiction, but I was kind of challenged while attending a Christmas Eve service. God spoke to me about what it must have been like to be there, at the actual event. Having been a labor and delivery nurse for many years, births come and go and rarely does one stand out above all of the others. This story that is brewing in my brain brings a bit of perspective from the ones who were probably there that go unmentioned. I hope it comes together and gives glory to the God who made our celebrations possible along with giving the best gift to us.

 A census? What in the world is Caesar Augustus thinking? Why didn't Quirinius step in and prevent this from happening? These evil men who always think they can control our lives! What is this all about now? Don't they understand that Bethlehem will become crazy and overcrowded? We do not have room for all of the thousands of people who are of the line of David to come and stay with us. This political move is nothing but a proof of power and will only cause us all to have to pay more taxes, lining the pockets of these evil leaders. Oh, that we would have a new king! It has been so long since we have seen any sign of reprieve from the evil that exists in our world. As long as I can remember there has been talk of the coming Messiah. Certainly it has to happen soon or this world is bound for permanent destruction. I only hope that the king who comes to take over can do it without too many lives being destroyed. After all, there has never been a peaceful transfer of power, only those marked with death and bloodshed. What I have learned though, it has been 400 years since we have heard any new talk of a coming Messiah. I wonder if it will really ever happen or if the prophets of old got the story wrong. Perhaps their predictions are just made up theories that really have no accuracy. I personally am losing all hope in ever seeing the powerful Messiah coming to power in this dark world where everyone seems to be living only to benefit themselves. Now, that is certainly obvious with this mandated census and impending tax.

 It has been a busy year for me as a midwife to the city of Bethlehem. Although we are a small little area, there remains women who are working at increasing the population. Tonight, as so many people are invading out little quiet village, I am hoping for some rest. I have firsthand knowledge of all the women who were great with child over the past month, they have all delivered and no one is due soon. A break in the action. I am grateful for that. I can hopefully get some of my own chores done at home this evening since there should be no new little ones arriving tonight. Thankfully, I was able to get to the well early this morning and we should have plenty of water for tomorrow. I have made plenty of bread and will be all set for a relaxing day off tomorrow from the normal life of caring for the women who are bringing new life into this world. With thoughts of that, I am ready to get my family to bed. 

Bang! Bang! Bang! 

What is that? Someone is pounding at my door. Why? I know of no one ready to deliver today. No one is due to have a baby. I have delivered them all. What is this all about?

 “Haddasah! Hurry, we need you!?” a voice was yelling at my door. 

I am all tucked in, my family is sleeping and I am not eager to wake them all as I climb out of bed. Who is this insisting that I get up?

 “Who are you, knocking at my door at this late hour?” I called out, trying not to wake all of the children who were nestled in for the night. My husband, sleeping right through the commotion of this all. How is it that men can sleep so soundly? Perhaps that is my plight in life as a midwife, to never really be able to sleep so soundly that even the softest of sounds awaken me. But this? This is not a soft sound, this banging on my door could potentially even waken the soundest of sleepers. I must figure out how to climb out over the children and get to the door before this keeps on.

 “Stop! I am coming,” I whispered as I carefully stepped between each of my children. Getting to the door as fast as I could, I opened and was greeted by a couple of very frazzled looking men.

 “Come quickly!” they cried. “There is a guest at the inn who has gone into labor. We need someone to attend the delivery. We don’t know what to do.” Men, of course they wouldn’t know what to do, they may help animals give birth, but a woman? Never.

 “Grab my water,” I said, thinking there is a potential there won’t be enough at an inn that is overcrowded with guest. Thankful I had not just replenished enough for my family, but I had convinced my children to visit the well with me and bring back a surplus of water in hopes for one day off from getting the water supply. Once more my mind wandered to the frustration I was feeling about the government putting their noses into our business and demanding that we be counted and taxed. One more reminder of the overreaching of government into the daily affairs of life. Really, why do we have to just sit back and take this? When will there be a solution to the tyranny of this government?

 “Stop!” I tell my mind. Quit dwelling on this negativity. There is obviously a much more serious issue to deal with-right now, someone is in labor and needing my professional assistance. “Concentrate on what you can do,” I told myself.

 Running quickly, trying to keep up with the men who woke me up, I am surprised that we run right past the entrance to the inn.

 “Where are you leading me?” I yell, “The inn’s door is right here!”

 “The woman is back here,” they explain as they lead me back to the stable.

 “An animal? I was called to attend a calving? What is happening to me?” my mind had a million thoughts. I am not an animal midwife, why was I called to a stable? I entered the outer area of the stable and in the dimness I could see a very nervous man not from around this area. Even in the darkness I could tell I didn’t recognize him as a local. 

“Can you help?” his voice quivered. “We did not expect that labor would happen here. We have come from Nazareth to participate in the census. I thought we would have time to get back there before this happened…” his voice wandered off as he tried to explain even to himself what was happening.

 “I can,” I assured him. “My name is Haddasah, I am a midwife. I can take care of your wife.” He gave me a look of relief. I headed in further to the area near the manger. “Heat up the water on the fire,” I ordered the men before I left them. “We will need warm water and as many rags as you can find, this is a less than ideal place to be delivering a child,” I had been in many homes to assist in many deliveries, never had I had a woman laboring in a stable. “What a mess this overcrowding has caused! Did we not have anyone more hospitable in this whole village?” once again, my mind straying to the plight that this census had caused.

 I approached the woman, “What is your name?” I whispered softly as she finished a contraction. 

“Mary.” The young girl stated. As I looked, I knew this was her first. She was so very young. No chance that she had done this before. She had to have been barely married before conceiving based on my observation of her young age. Another contraction began.

 “Breathe, Mary,” I instructed softly. As the contraction ended, I performed my duties as a midwife in assessing the progress. “It won’t be long. Your little girl or boy will be here soon.”

 “He’s a boy,” she spoke as the contraction ended. “He is a boy!” She repeated with such assurance. I have seen many births and women very sure of the gender being pleasantly surprised once the baby reveals itself. This one was different. Her confidence was stronger than any I had seen. She convinced me, a skeptical midwife, this child was going to be a boy.

 Mary cried out in pain. The baby was coming. There was no time to get her moved into a cleaner area. No time to move a paying guest out of a clean inn room in order to accommodate a soon to be mother. We will just try to make the best of the situation here. The inn keeper’s wife, Rachael, had supplied the area with fresh straw while she waited for me to arrive. Her daughter had followed my direction of getting some rags ready. Other women had assembled to bring in water and supplies as needed. The men were all pacing out in the yard, some attending to the fire, some attending to the father to be.

 One long cry from the pregnant woman as the infant moved from her body to the world. Wet with water and blood, he entered the world. Yes, it is a boy. I used some cloths to dry his wet slippery body off as I placed him into the arms of his mother. Sweat pouring off her brow, her face glowing in wonder and affection for this tiny human being. As he cried and assured us that his lungs were working, I assessed his skin. Even in the darkness I could tell his was becoming pink as his heart was doing the work it needed to pump that blood through his body. I continued my job and cut the cord. As Mary held him to her chest, he did what he knew to do and found his way to her breast. Her placenta delivered right on schedule. No complications. I was so grateful. It was bad enough to think of where she had to deliver, certainly she deserved an easy transition from being pregnant to being a mother.

 What was it though? There was something about this baby that seemed different to me. He cried like a normal baby, he nursed at his mother’s breast, he pooped. He did all of the things a baby was supposed to do, but somewhere in my heart, I felt there was a difference.

 In the hours that followed, it was a very unusual occurrence. Out of nowhere, what seemed very odd and unusual, shepherds came to see the baby. Seriously? Shepherds? Why would those dirty animal tending less than human creatures be hanging out looking at this baby? I overheard one telling someone nearby about a bright light waking them while they were in the field. Then, because I love to hear a good story, I kept listening.

 “We were all sleeping except Jacob, it was his turn to be awake to protect the sheep,” he started to say. “We thought the commotion was an animal or a thief, but NO, it was in the sky. Not a human or an animal but angels telling us that in the city of Bethlehem a child had been born.” He continued to explain how the angels spoke and told them where to go. It sounded like the most frightening thing that could have ever happened, worse than a bear or a lion. I decided I would forgive them for bringing their dirty bodies to the site where a child had been born. I was convinced they were in the right to be there. I wouldn’t argue with angels. Angels? My spirit was once again moved to realizing there was something different about this child. I hoped to see what would happen in the next few days.

The story will continue. I am working on more...I didn't want to hold on to this as I developed it, I needed to share. Please let me know what you think. Thanks~Christine

Marriage

For so very long, I have been burdened by the encounters I have with married people who are struggling in their marriage. Jim and I were going to start a group to support and mentor couples in their marriage. We never got it off the ground before Jim died. The burden has not been lifted. I loved being married. I loved that we had such an imperfect marriage and that we knew how to fight and how to resolve. As I may have shared previously, we even had a "heavy" discussion just hours before he died. We were not in agreement about vacation, but we both knew that we would have to decide together what we were going to do.

So, with the burden, I have been putting a lot of thought as to what marriage is supposed to look like. In my opinion, marriage is a metaphor. God gave us marriage as model to understand Christ and the church. I know there are many who would differ with this opinion, but for some reason, that statement has been swirling around in my head for months. When I look at Christ and the church, we are often referred to as the Bride of Christ. If that is so, then he would be the husband. Christ set an example for us as to how we are to live our lives, sacrifice was the ultimate act on His part to offer us forgiveness of sin and security in an eternal life with him.

As I look at marriage, I know what I believe the whole point of it is. A good marriage (which does not mean perfect) is a good illustration of what our relationship with Jesus should look like. A human marriage is filled with flaws in comparison, face it, we live in a fallen world (Gen. 3). My thoughts lately have been regarding the man's role (after all, it is easier to be critical of the part that I would never be responsible to fulfill!)

The husband. I look this word up in the dictionary and of course it gives the usual definition. What we all already know (funny how dictionaires do that). But I knew there was a deeper meaning to the word. I have heard, "animal husbandry" so I was sure there was more of a meaning than "a married man". I scrolled down and found the one definition that applies to the role of that married man, "to till; cultivate". There, that is what I was looking for. A husband is not just the man portion in a marriage arrangement. The husband is the one who needs to till and cultivate. That is work. Sorry to say, beside the work that was related to the curse (Gen. 3) there is other work too that the man has to do. When we look at Christ as our husband, think of how many times we have heard the phrase, "the work of the cross". Really? That was work? I would think of it more as death, punishment. But, it was a work, because it accomplished what it set out to do. So, as husbands, men have a job to do, not only to provide finacially and protectively for the family, but to till and cultivate. I am so thankful I got to be the woman. A man's job looks pretty daunting if you consider all that is really his responsibility. How does a man till and cultivate in the family? I am sure that looks different in all types of situations, but primarily in order to be able to pour out yourself to the family, you need to be filled up first. Spending time in God's word, avoiding any area of sin, being available for what you are needed for...the list goes on and on. I feel most men know what they need to do, they often choose not to do it. The wife: God created the woman to be a helpmate to the man. Not a rug to be stepped on. Not a boss to overpower her husband and take on his role. To be a helpmate. That to me means a woman needs to do whatever is in her power to support her husband in his role as "husband". Oh sure, there will be times when we (women) just do it because we are sick of waiting around. That temptation is great, but at some point we realize, we have to let the man do his job-if we are doing it, he cannot. I could go on and on as to what we should do as women, but I think, just like I said about the husband, we also know. One of the greatest things about marriage that I ever heard came on a cruise when I heard Darren Mulligan (We Are Messengers) say this at the end of his concert, "Marriage is not about being happy. Marriage is about dying to yourself so that your marriage partner can live to the fullest in Christ." I love that thought, but as I thought about it over the years since hearing it, I am reminded that it goes both ways, one person only dying to the other is not the solution. It is the two people deciding each to die to the other. If it doesn't happen in both lives, it won't be correct. We really need to look at what dying to self in order to support our partner to live really looks like. What would that look like for you? What things do you need to change about you that would line up with that sacrifice? Thanks for reading this. I am no expert on marriage. I like to remember mine as good with a whole lot of struggle and work that went along with it, an imperfect marriage. I hope that this message blesses and challenges you.

Copied from a Facebook Post

Sorry this is not an original post, but I thought it was too good not to have saved somewhere other than on my phone. We all know how reliable that can be. It was posted on the Hope After Grief page on Facebook by Gail Carico Bryant. 

 "In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question, 'What kind of man are you looking for?' She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking, 'Do you really want to know?' Reluctantly he said, 'Yes.' She began to expound, 'As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man. 'What can you do for me that I can't do for myself? I pay my own bills, I take care of my household without the help of any man...or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, What can you bring to the table?' The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought and stated, 'I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life. He sat back in his chair, folded his arms and asked her to explain. She said, 'I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man. I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked...believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster, I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don't need a financial burden. I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game-playing are not my idea of a strong man. I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader, priest, and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God. I need someone whom I can respect in order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy. And by the way, I am not looking for him...he will find me. He will recognize himself in me. He may not be able to explain the connection, but he will always be drawn to me. God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I cant help a man if he can't help himself. When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, 'You are asking a lot.' She replied, 'I am worth a lot!'" 

 As a widow, I think this is a very good message to tell myself. I think after being married most of my life, I forget what it is that I really need to be looking at and not settling for something less than perfect for me. Thanks for reading. I will be trying to update some of my own thoughts this coming week.

An Early Lesson in Thankfulness

I wanted to be sure to add being thankful to my new year's daily routine. I got an early start this past week. I have been struggling since September with some pretty annoying shoulder pain. I have gone along with all the suggestions of my medical providers. However, little improvement has happened. So, I am continuing on with the treatment plan. So, Wednesday I was scheduled for an MRI. Being in pain for several months and trying to do normal everyday activities with a gimpy shoulder is pretty annoying. I have always said I could take anything as long as it doesn't involve pain. I completed my scan and was waiting to get into the dressing room to leave. As I was seated on the chair, I observed another woman who was preparing to go in for her scan. Let me tell you, it caused me to pause and thank God for my health and that I was only there for a sore shoulder. This woman had very little hair on her head, so, I assume a chemo/radiation patient. It was hard not to also notice the large scar on her scalp and a big indentation in her skull. (I wasn't staring-I observe things quickly) The woman was probably younger than me, walking with a walker. Despite all of the issues that she was certainly facing, she had a sweet spirit and was very pleasant. I could not blame her for being bitter and complaining, but she did not. It woke me up to a realization, I need to remember to be always grateful for my health, despite pain and annoyances. So, I am starting early.

Looking Forward to the New Year

Well, to say 2020 has been a year to remember would be a huge understatement Maybe we would be better saying it would be a good year to forget. We all feel the same sentiment and for various reasons. We have given up so much of what we used to take for granted, all for the sake of preventing a viral spread. Some have gone to huge extremes to prevent giving or getting, others have tried to maintain some type of normalacy. I am not here to judge either choice, I just recognize the two extremes (or more) that exist. But, that is not the subject for this entry. The subject is, the future. What is next? What is a plan? Last year I put a challenge out to have several people join me in reading through the Bible in the year using the plan that I have used the last several years. Well, like most things in 2020, not many stuck with the plan and completed it. Maybe 2021 will be your year?!?! I will be putting the challenge out again soon. If 2020 taught us nothing else, it did teach us that we have plenty of time to read the Bible for 20-30 minutes a day. Perhaps the reason we are going through all of this was to get us to prioritize our time and do this. Feeling guilty for not doing this? Good. I want you to. If that is a driving force that works for you, then I am sending it all to you. Please get on board with this plan (or one of your own) of spending time daily in reading the Word and filling your mind with good things. This is the best thing you can fill your mind with. But, now, on to my 2021 plan. This came to me very recently and if I don't record it and make myself accountable to someone, I may not succeed. Or, perhaps I won't even remember that I had a plan. I have been working hard at filling my mind with good things, finding books about better nutrition and making good choices in life. There is a lot of other noise that I am trying hard to quiet so that my mind is not filled with damaging thoughts. I had read the book, "Switch On Your Brain" by Dr. Caroline Leaf over a year ago. At the end of the book she offers a 21 day detox plan. I didn't do it at the time I originally read the book. I procrastinated on that in order to do it at time that I was really ready to take on the challenge. Well, unfortanately, my procrastination turned into a complete forgetting that I was going to someday do it. Lately I have listened to several "experts" on health and periodically Dr. Leaf is either mentioned or a guest speaker. Then, there arrives a podcast hosted by her also. With all of this new exposure, I pulled out my book and decided I really do need to jump in and do the exercises she suggests. One of the guest she had on her podcast talked about having an attitude of graditude. (I hate rhyming phrases-I think they are hokey) He said that he had interviewed some people who were successful and at peace and their bottom line was daily finding something to be grateful for. So, here I am, step one, read and complete the 21 day detox plan. Step 2- daily find something to be truly grateful for.(I am going to record them) My step 3 is something that came to me just this week while visiting with my oldest living relative. My aunt Phyllis showed me a book she had near her on her kitchen table and it was just a simple planner in which she recorded what happened each day. Not every day had an entry, but many did. As I looked at her entries, I felt challenged to do the same. I have relied on my memory for most of my life and not really ever recorded things. I had been acused by my late husband of having too good of a memory for unimportant details. Well, I am going to give up on trusting my own memory and start doing like Aunty Phyllis and record each day what it is that was significant (or not) for that day. So, there you have it. My plan. Now, on this date next year, hopefully I can look back and see that I accomplished my goal.