Miracles Keep Happening

The night before we were to leave to come home from Texas, it was decided that it would be safest for LeAnn to fly home (she has a complicated pregnancy) and because Jimi had a job interview on Tuesday, there was no way he could ride up when we left on Monday. So, Kathy worked late into the night to get a flight for them. She was exhausted with having had a house full of people around and the Christmas celebrations, along with thinking of having to get ready for an unexpected trip to Janesville. She needed to get the tickets purchased for Jimi and LeAnn. So, in haste, she book the flights and put the name on the ticket for LeAnn as LeAnn Alsman (LeAnn has been married for 7 years) and put Jimi's name as "Jimi". His legal name is James and that is what has to appear on his ticket. It was Tuesday morning when LeAnn called with concern that with the heightened security at airports, changing names on tickets may cause them not to be able to get on a flight.

We did right then what we needed to do, we stopped and prayed--and turned it over to God to get Jimi and LeAnn safely here. Later in the day, I called LeAnn to remind her that the God who healed the hole in her heart a few months ago, is the God who wants them to be here for the service and HE will cause it to happen.

As of right now, they should be nearly arriving at O'Hare. Praise the LORD.

Mom was putting a puzzle together her last days alive. She obeyed exactly what the puzzle told her to do....

Here are the things that were posted by two of my sisters in reply to my blog. Thank you all for reading about my mother and the thoughts that have been circling around in my brain.




Mommy met Jesus tonight (Christmas Eve). ALL so clearly orchestrated by God - as you could see from Christine's perspective HERE. I'm the sister in Texas that Christine was coming to visit from Wisconsin. There are sooo many more "coincidences" that I could add, but, if you have read this far in my blog - including Christine's - you don't need my perspective to see God's hand in ALL of this.




I am not usually one to spread news like this - in fact YOU are the first one I've told other than family. But, this is a story that needs to be told - especially to those who need the reminder and/or assurance that God is sovereign and that he cares about the smallest details of our lives, and that Jesus is preparing a place for those who love him. My prayer for you, is that you are HIS.




Leila was with Mom when she went to meet Jesus. Leila & her husband - just recently left their jobs, son and friends in Wichita, Kansas to be near their 1st grandchild in Michigan. So Leila was within 3 hours of Mom, instead of 12 hours. That is a whole nother story of how God orchestrates and guides our lives - far beyond what we understand, if we allow Him to.




Another important note is that DAD has Alzheimer's - and has been in a nursing home for 5 years - and Mom has visited him everyday, although we sometime questioned WHY - he didn't seem to even know who she was or that she was even there. If you knew my Mom you'd believe as we all do - that it was just her stubbornness and need to control EVERYTHING :)!




Here are Leila's comments:




I've modified the obit some more--Mom didn't die, she went to be with Jesus, because "whoever believes in Me will never die."





I had recited John 14 to Mom when she was on the ventilator, reminding her that Jesus must have her place prepared, because he was coming to get her. I figure she's probably giving Him advice now about Dad's place, and all of ours--to be sure they're done right. (Maybe that's what I'll share at the service.)




I tried to comment on your blog, Christine, but I don't have time to set up an account--don't really understand how, so I'm attaching my "response blog." Once I got started, I didn't know where to stop--like talking. I wanted all of you to know this about my visit with Dad, too.




Just a clarification--because that's one of my "gifts"--Mom was also with us at Thanksgiving. Another gift from God was the fact that Mom recovered on her own from "fatal V-Tach arrhythmia," as the ICU Nurse, Rachel, so aptly explained to us. The ICU Staff were all "mesmerized" by her medical process. I learned later that she had "awakened" on her own after the original episode. Our son-in-law, who is a PA in ICU states that he's never seen anyone with any brain function after that length of V-tach episodes, because during those, there is no blood flowing to the brain.





I could/should write my own blog--or at least journal for my own wellness; I have had the experience of witnessing "end-of-life" episodes with several families over the past 14 years. Never have I witnessed anyone becoming lucid and being able to communicate at the end. It was like a TV Christmas movie--very unrealistic, but ever precious. I thank God that He prepared me for this experience; placed me within reach geographically to be there with Mom, and that I could get her answer, "Yes" when I asked if she was ready to leave this life.




I went to see Dad at noon after Mom had gone to Jesus; I felt it was important that he be informed whether he understood or not. He looked at me when I sat down next to him, and then closed his eyes (I think this is his way of hiding when he doesn’t know how to deal with what’s happening around him.) I told the CNA who was getting people ready for lunch about Mom’s passing. She, of course, was shocked and expressed her condolences—then she evidently ran to pass the word to the rest of the staff. Another staff member who had been in the activity room returned and said across the room, “Rita? You said Rita died?” When Dad heard Mom’s name, his eyes popped open wide and he looked toward the lady who had said this. While he was engaged, I told him, “Mom went to be with Jesus. She won’t be able to come visit you anymore.” He didn’t show any indication of understanding what I had said, which didn’t surprise me. As we sat there, he began to hum, so I reminded him that it was Christmas Eve, and that he used to hold Christmas Eve candlelight services and we always sang Silent Night. I began to sing, as much as my tears would allow, and he hummed with me. I’ve tried singing to him before in an effort to connect, and he has never before responded. As we sat there, a radio was playing Christmas music, and “Rudolph” played. I started singing along, and Dad again engaged and nodded his head in time with the music, smiling. I helped him eat lunch, and then Mike and I took him for a walk down the hall. We “caroled” a little as we went. Dad seemed to enjoy that.




This is what one of the staff members posted for Christine in response to her blog about the whole experience:

Beautiful Blog Christine . I will miss your mother coming up to see Andy everyday . I can tell you all Andy kept saying Rita is gone . My heart ached for him. I told him she will be watching over you in heaven. He said " yes she will." He was fine with that comment. My heart goes out to you and your families. She will be missed at Rock Haven. She was a wonderful lady, she was like 2nd family to most of us at Rock Haven. She would kiss him goodnight and always say "going home see you tomorrow I love you ." Andy would always smile back at her.

Mom knows God's amazing love in a clear way now, whereas, with all the counting of blessings that we're doing, we only "see through a glass, dimly." God is good--ALL THE TIME! Praise His holy Name!




All this to just say!




God is Good!

Shocking December News

Where do I begin with the story of what has taken place over the last several days? A few weeks ago, when we realized I had two weeks of vacation with Christmas falling in the middle, Jim thought we should go to Texas for Christmas. I have a sister who lives in Austin, she has lived there since 1984. We have never made any effort to drive all the way to Austin for Christmas in all the years they have lived there. We all went to Austin in 2003 for Josh and LeAnn's wedding which was December 20th--so we celebrated together, but never have we ever made that journey specifically for Christmas.

This story may get long and details may seem strange, but this is a reflection of the things God has revealed to me today about how much he loves me, how much he cares about the tiniest most insignificant details of my life, and how he uses those things for his glory.

As we began our preparations for our trip, we knew Ryan had no school after Tuesday, the 21st. So, the plan was to leave on Wednesday, the 22nd early morning. We weren't thinking that Dan would be able to go along due to work and school obligations, so made our plans accordinly. When we told Dan of the plans, he said he could take off work only one day and with his last final on Wednesday afternoon, if we waited one more day, he could go along. So, we changed our departure date by one day.

We asked my mother if she would stop by and feed the cat while we were gone. She said she would rather we find someone who lives near us to do that. We were in a way put out, it was really no big deal for her (so we thought). But, we made other arrangements and just moved on.

On Saturday, I told Ryan we were going to church. He said he wanted to go to church with Grandma. It wasn't that he wanted to get out of going with me on Saturday night, and not where he wanted to go, he didn't care where, he just wanted to go to church on Sunday with Grandma. While Ryan and I were going to Rockford to church on Saturday evening, he told me he wanted to go to Panda Express for supper. Since I had put a roast in the crock pot, that was out of the question. I suggested he ask Grandma to take him for Chinese. So, Sunday morning, he went to church with Grandma and then to Panda Express for lunch. It was a special day he got to spend with Grandma.

Mom made cookies for us to take on the trip, not a couple of batches, but MASSIVE numbers of cookies. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why she needed to send that many cookies with us, but we packed them all up and took them with. Jim and I went over to her apartment to pick up the cookies. Mom was very tired, but was planning her daily trip out to Rock Haven to spend time with Dad. She was tired, Jim commented that she looked pretty tired. She said, "Yeah, I am tired, I probably need to get out and walk more." She sat down in the lobby while we loaded the cookies into the car. Her usual routine would have been to stand out and tell me just exactly how to put each and every container into the trunk.

We rarely (never) get on the road very early for trips. Our intentions are always to get going early, but it never happens. For some reason (and I know now why) we got packed quickly and orderly, and were ready to head out the door by 3:30 AM. I drove until we stopped for breakfast. With limited traffic, we made very good time. We were very far ahead of schedule and the trip was going smoother than ever before.

We had a goal to make it to the south side of Dallas. We were just outside of Tulsa when a phone call came to my phone. Jim answered since I was driving. The one sided conversation was making me crazy. "What was going on?" I finally YELLED...."tell me what you are talking about...." Jim stopped the conversation and told me, "Your mother has had another attack, the paramedics are there now, she was a Kay's house watching her soap operas." Jim then went back to the phone and heard the remainder of the details. When he hung up, he told me that Mom had gone to Kay's apartment (her routine) so the two of them could watch soap opera reruns. They did this every night, either the soaps or a movie. Their friendship had grown over the years as Kay supported my mom during the early days of placing Dad in care, it just grew and grew. There was never a time when I was with Mom or spoke to Mom that she didn't say, "Kay said......." and I would be updated on the latest event in both lives or their thoughts on politics or the latest current event, etc. Mom started coughing and Kay asked her if she was all right. Mom--of course said yes. The next time Kay looked over at Mom, she was obviously gone, passed out cold and colorless. Kay activated the emergency system in the building and called 911.

We talked, had decided that we were too far into our trip to try and turn around to be of any use to Mom back at home. We made several phone calls to family to alert them of the situation. Renee was the closest by geography, she was called first. She was by far the closest to Mom and needed to be with her during what seemed to be her last hours. Renee started on her way. She called and told me she didn't know what she would do if Mom was on a ventilator knowing that she did not want to be sustained on life support. I told Renee that if Mom was on a vent and she didn't want to withdraw on her own, to wait. We trusted whatever decision she made. I assured her that I knew she loved Mom and would not do what Mom did not want.

When Renee arrived, Mom was on a ventilator and Dopamine to keep her blood pressure stable. Leila had been called and was on her way from Michigan. We only had the option of just waiting. When Leila arrived, she said she would not have even recognized Mom. During all this waiting, we just pushed forward to try to make it to Dallas.

Renee called and told us that the doctor told her that if they took Mom off the ventilator, she would die within 1-2 hours. I told my kids that Grandma was going to die this evening. Ryan said, "I never got to say good-bye," tears falling down his face. Ryan had just spent Sunday with Grandma--I remind him that spending time was more important than actually saying words. I promised him that he would have a chance to get to say good-bye.

I called Renee, nothing much had changed. I told her we needed to get a phone to Mom's ear. Ryan needed to say good-bye to Grandma. Within a few minutes, Renee called and Ryan took the phone and said his final good-bye to Grandma, then, Dan took the phone and said his good-byes. This led to the decision to call each of the grandchildren and have them say good-bye.

We pushed harder and arrived in Austin at 2:30 am. Exhausted, yes, but thankful that we made the decision to push our way to the end. Kathy and I needed to be together. Leila and Renee gave us updates. At around 4 we decided we needed to go to bed. I encouraged Leila to make the move to withdraw life support quickly. Not that I wanted my mother to die, but I did want my mother to not live in a permanent vegatative state and I knew prolonging life support may contribute to a longer waiting period for her to enter into her eternal rest.

At 5:58, my phone rang. It was Renee, she called and said, "Mom went home." Later, I spoke with Leila. This is what she revealed to me about Mom's last moments. They took the ventilator off and Mom awoke, totally aware of her surroundings and coherent to speak. She looked at Renee and Leila and said, "What are you doing here?" They explained that Mom's heart had stopped and she had been on a ventilator but was no longer. She asked! Then, they clarified with her that she did not want her life maintained on life support. She said, "I don't want to be on a ventilator." Renee once more said to her, "Mom, you will die if we don't put you on a ventilator, is this what you want?" Mom told her, I don't want to live on a ventilator. Leila asked her if she had remembered hearing from each of her grandchildren, she had not. So, Leila told her that each one had called and said their goodbyes and that they loved her. Within a few moments, her heart went into ventricular tachycardia and she passed out, revived again by God's intervention, was aware of her surroundings. Leila told her she was going to go rest, Renee told Mom she was going to go home to bed, and Mom said she wanted her to do that. Renee left and Leila went to rest in the waiting room. The nurse came to get her and she went into the room to see Mom pass into her next life. She called Renee, Renee had just made it to the parking lot.

We are so thankful for so many things. So many details of this ordeal were so orchestrated by God far before we had any thought that all of these things would happen.

1. Our plans to go to Texas meant we were with Kathy and Bob and family at a time when they normally would have been alone. Bob would have been in Illinois with his family had we not been coming down. Matt joined us in Texas, he would have been alone in Wichita.
2. We would have been the first ones to respond when Mom went to the hospital and potentially would have prevented the starting of the ventilator and possibly prevented Mom from having the last conversations with Leila and Renee--as well as making sure the grandchildren each were able to say their last goodbyes before she was gone.
3. Mom told Leila and Renee not to make any special plans to be with her for Christmas, so no one had to change or cancel their plans for the holiday.
4. Mom was at Kay's when she had her attack--she could have been alone in her apartment and not found until the next day--not having had the opportunity to hear from her grandkids and spend the time with Renee and Leila that she had.
5. Mom told us when we were getting ready to leave that she would not feed our cat. I was a little miffed that she wouldn't do that for us, but having said no, it allowed us the time to find someone else to take care of the cat, thus, we didn't have to find someone to do it while we are on our trip.
6. We left early in the morning, that put us much closer to Austin than we normally would have been by that time of day.
7. I called Mom while we were on the road to chat with her, I had a conversation with her just hours before she went to be with the Lord. During this time, she told me the results she had received the day before from her pacemaker check and that she had been diagnosed with atrial fibrillation and would need to begin anticoagulation therapy.
8. Ryan insisted on spending Sunday with her, he had never done that before.
9. We spent Thanksgiving with Mike and Leila, Michele, Tim, and Oliver (and Tim's family).
10. She died over Christmas break allowing most of the family time to come home for the funeral when normally the long trip would not be possible.
11. This past summer we had a family reunion in which all but one person was there. He will be able to make it to the funeral.
12. Matt can go to Janesville with a passenger (Dan) and that will make his trip a little less boring.


I am sure there are many other things that as time goes we will see God's divine hand in all of this.

Thanks for reading my thoughts and for all the wonderful responses I have received.

Christine

The Worst Week EVER!

I was feeling all right when I arrived at the hospital. I had to put on the ugly green gown and take a picture to prove to my friend Shabvon that I do look good in green. I appear to be okay in this picture, and truly, I was--the pain was so intermittent that I debated going to the emergency room. I had gone to my primary doctor's office and saw the PA who started me on Bactrim for his diagnosis of diverticulitis. I got home and took the first dose and hours later decided that I could not deal with the level of pain I was having. So, off to the ER we headed. I felt so strange when I looked like I was in little distress, but I knew how bad it hurt when it came on.

I was treated so well--it helps when people think you are a "boss". The doctor was working real hard not to put me through too much and wanted to spare me of the contrast for my CT scan. I didn't care, I told him I wanted him to find out what was causing the pain, even if he didn't fix it, just tell me what is causing it. On the way to the ER, I said to Jim, "The only thing that could be worse than this pain is if I had to push a baby out and then raise it." I did feel like how I would imagine labor pains.

I was admitted because I told the doctor I didn't want him to treat me like I was a nurse, but treat me like I was a patient. So, I was started on IV antibiotics and admitted. I got very good care--although some of my long time so called friends said the staff probably drew straws to decide who got me as a patient. Really, am I that bad??

I was not allowed to eat for the whole night and the whole next day. I was too tired to worry about it. I realized my body was working hard to recover from the infection and that was why I felt so tired and blah. During the night on the second night, I started to develop pain in my right hand. I thought it was from a combination of not moving it much due to the IV and lying my head on it while I slept. When I got up and moving on Wednesday morning, I realized my feet hurt about as bad as my hand. I once again tried to rationalize that lying in bed for two days probably caused stiffness. I prepared to go home, I was feeling so much better other than my stiff joints. I didn't really worry about it though, figured it would get better with moving. I had my first meal--hospital food.


We headed home, first going to get some lunch and then shopping at the Dollar Store. When I got home, I vacuumed. I was feeling great--other than my stiff joints. The next morning, my hands looked like the picture. I could not bend at my knees, my feet were killing me. I went to the doctor. I was disappointed that she was not quite as impressed with my swollen joints as I was. She did lab work but offered nothing else. In time, the swelling had gone down. I now am feeling a lot better and decided that with my past experience with antibiotics, I most likely have an allergy to Bactrim. I feel that one tablet probably led to my extreme swelling of my joints.

During the painful time, I had to really learn to trust God that he would take care of me, I know I was not dying, but I was fearful of long term pain and not sure I could handle it. Thankfully, my body is healing and I am thankful that God cares enough about me that he would not allow my body to give out on me.

Thanks so much for praying for me.

If I ever.....................

I can never seem to get it together enough to actually do anything productive. And really, doing this blog right now is probably one of the worst choices in life. I have been up a good long time, worked a 12 hour shift and drove home. Now, all the words are appearing twice on the screen.

I wanted to talk about some things, but I best get the sleep that I need first so as not to incriminate myself. OH so sorry, good night.

This was a good reminder that God's promises are true, faithful, and eternal.
Thanks you God for the beautiful reminder of who you will be forever in our lives.

my heart is broken from what happened this past shift I worked. I had to see a woman say goodbye to her loving husband. I will tell more later when I an awake and making sense.

Fear--the Joy Robber

I was listening to the radio on the way home from work this morning and they were talking about the sun causing the Northern Lights to appear this weekend. I was quickly reminded of a time when the Northern Lights appeared and my reaction to them. It was probably late September, 2001. The horrible events of 9/11 had happened and it put my life in a sort of tail spin. I had never really suffered huge loss or fear prior to the fateful Tuesday. I had not lost my parents, I was happily married, had two wonderful kids whom I adored (and still do). The closest people to me whom had died were my grandparents and a friend when I was 15 who had drowned in a freak wave off the coast of the Indian Ocean when she was visiting Africa. Life had been pretty simple, things fell nicely into place despite some of the bumps along the way.

However, when those buildings and planes went down on the Tuesday morning, I felt my whole life fall out from under me. My head told me to knock it off, I was fine. My heart told me to be afraid. My head told me I have a loving Heavenly Father who would never allow something to touch my life that had not been filtered through his hands. My heart said that was not enough at this point. I had a FEAR like never before. I was afraid to be home in my house alone, if I got home and Jim was not here, I called him and demanded that he get home right away, sometimes even waiting in the car for them to arrive. It was messy to say the least. It was a fear that is unexplainable. I seriously had never really felt fear before I felt that fear. Sad things is, I didn't even really know what the fear was of, would they come to get us all? Would we lose our country? Would out economy bottom out and all we have worked for be gone? In this fear, I did have a solid knowledge in my head that God would care for me no matter what else I was to do without in this life.

One night I was traveling home from town and the northern sky was bright and red and beautiful. I had never experienced Northern Lights before. I had no idea what they looked like, so instead of slowing down and enjoying this phenomenon I rushed home because I knew Jim was home and if I were in the house with the boys and Jim, I was safe.

I realized this morning, the fear that consumed my life for that period of time, consumed and destroyed the joy. I am sad that the memory of Northern Lights is dampened by the fear that took the joy from me. When I saw the lights, I thought, "OH NO!!! What are they trying to do to us now?" I was sure they had a plan to destroy our nation and this was a part of it.

I am so happy to report I finally got out of that slump. Our pastor spoke with me about my concerns and one Sunday he preached a sermon meant for me. He said, "If God is not finished with the task he had called you to do, he will not allow harm to destroy you." I knew that those boys were given to me to have a mom until adulthood, I know Jim was not meant to be a single dad. I had the assurance that God had called me to be a mom and his promise that if he begins a good work in you, he will bring it to completion. I knew complete was not there and I had a very important job to do.

Dan had been fearful for years of being alone at his end of the house, or anywhere we asked him to go without us. I prayed and prayed that he would be at peace and God would free him of the burden of fear. When I went through my spell, I began to understand just exactly what he felt. You cannot talk yourself out of it or convince yourself by rational thinking that you should not be afraid and worse yet, no one else can do that for you either. As promised, perfect love cast out all fear. 1 John 4:18

So, if the sky is clear and I don't have to be too busy at work, I am walking right out on the roof and looking those Northern Lights in the sky and telling God, "Thanks for giving me life, joy, peace, love, and no more fear (at least not consuming fear).

Sunday's Thoughts

I was in my garden this morning and the song "Heart of Worship" by Sonic Flood came to mind. "When the music fades, all is stripped away, and I simply come. Longing just to bring something that's of worth that will bless your heart. I'll bring you more than a song, for a song in itself, is not what you have required. You search much deeper within, through the way things appear, you're looking into my heart. I'm coming back to the heart of worship, its all about you, its all about you, Jesus. I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it, when its all about you, its all about you, Jesus...."

I was struck by the truth of the words of this song, when did it become about anything else? When did going to church on Sunday morning become so much other than the hour or maybe more of time set aside to just WORSHIP? What is that worship too? What does it mean to worship? There are so many things that become the "factors" in that....the music, the offering, the rituals, the color of the floor, the color of the walls, the latest story about someone....is that what we are really there for? Does worship only happen within the walls of the church? There are so many thoughts and opinions on what it all means and many thoughts and opinions of what it does not mean.

I pray that I may be in a spirit of worship, not only on Sunday morning, but on Monday night too, and every other day and hour of the week.

Scrapbook Page

I finally did another page. Wow, it only took me forever, due to technical difficulties. I can't do complicated pages, I get too impatient and frustrated. I don't really know how to do any of those "fancy" things.......

But, it is done. Technology will be the death of me yet!!

More Family Reunion Thoughts

As I was looking through my pictures last week, it hit me that there were two people at the reunion who were so close to no longer being with us.

I am so thankful that God saw fit to allow us many more years with Geof and Theresa. Both were involved in near death car accidents when they were younger. I do not recall the details of Geof's accident because I was in Africa then, at a time when communication to and from was delayed and sometimes non-existent. I do know though that it was serious.

Theresa was involved in a car vs. snow plow accident and the driver was killed. She was within inches of her life.

In both of these cases, many prayers were offered for their lives and thankfully, God allowed us more time with both of these. It is situations such as this that make family reunions so important. One never knows the future, but we do know that we can share the time together and value the moments we have, and the best, the future that we know that in the next life, we will have a HUGE family reunion. I pray those who are living without salvation through Jesus find it before it becomes too late.

The pictures above include the two families that are richer than they could have been because of God's wonderful grace and mercy.

Cousins on the Couch

Sunday Morning!

We worked fast and hard to get these pictures taken before we had to leave for church........

The Weekend to Remember........Family Reunion

If you are visiting this for the first time, start with my previous posts as this is a continuation of the story....

People started having to leave the reunion. I was sad that time had started to move on and that this wonderful day had to end. Aunt Louise (my oldest living relative) came over to me at the ball game to say good-bye and she took my arms in her hands and said, "This is the best family reunion we have ever had. And, God willing, I will be at the next one too." Sorry, can't control the tears on this one either, that meant so much to me because I was feeling it was the best one too, but I thought that was just me. Others started leaving and it was sad reality that this wonderful time together as a family was going to soon end. I hated that part!!!

The night was topped off by a display of fireworks that Jim had gotten from our neighbor. These were the good kind that made hot ashes fall on those watching. We sat and enjoyed and then became patriotic and started singing patriotic songs. We clapped and cheered and had a great time. When it was over we packed up chairs and headed inside to bathe the kids and put them to bed. Once again, some of us sat up and chatted and one by one everyone was off to bed. Kathy and I were the last to give in but got to spend some great quiet moments together. It was special.

Prior to us all going off to bed, we discussed the traditional "Cousins on the Couch" picture. We decided that the little children were spent and this could be a recipe for disaster, so Michele and Tim agreed to come back in the morning before they left for home so that we could get the picture taken.

Continued....

Because I have no idea how to actually edit this, I decided rather than chance losing all I had written, I would post it and continue on in another story. Maybe some day when life settles down, I can actually teach myself how to use this blog the way I think it would work....or not.

So, on with the story....read below to begin.

After dinner and clean up, the Texas kids noticed there were fireflies in the yard. We dug out some jars so they could go out and catch the creatures. Their "Meme" helped them get them caught. It was great fun watching them discover and capture and set free the "bugs."

We started assigning sleeping arrangements. Dan had to give up his room and Ryan's room was open because he was at camp. I had already given up my "cave" to Mike and Leila. Matt and Dan slept in the pop up camper that friends of ours had loaned us so that we would have plenty of sleeping space. The smaller ones were off to bed and the
rest of us sat and chatted for awhile. It was just a nice time of visiting and enjoying each others' company. Tim and Michele were staying in a motel, and Mom had her own place to go. Mom, Tim, and Michele all left and the rest of us went to bed.

In the morning, the group got up and while I made breakfast, they all went for a run/walk. Leila and I were the only ones left at the house with the small kids. Dan had to go to school so he was up and out of the house. While the run was going on, Jim and Kathy came back and got the ranger and took the kids for a ride to find the runners. The runners returned before the ranger riders so then the runners went in the car to find the riders...it was kind of a game of tag.

We were then all ready to start the preparations for the rest of the family to arrive. Kathy and Mom went shopping. Leila put her head in the microwave (it seems like every picture I have of her she is getting something in or out of the microwave). Michele and LeAnn went out to get some things. Kathy was in charge of supper. Renee had arrived, so we were all together for the first time since Tim and Michele's wedding over two years ago.

Around mid afternoon, in rolls Aunt Laura and Aunt Norma (Iowa and Idaho). They were staying in a motel and had gotten checked in early so they thought they would come and see if they could help get things ready. Mostly we all visited and had a great time reminiscing of the old days, etc. It was such precious time, even among all the chaos and busyness, the time together with my dad's sisters was just precious. All of the sudden, in walks my cousin Kevin and his wife and two kids from Minnesota. A little later, in rolls Uncle Richard and Aunt Charlotte from Missouri. Their son Geof was coming from Green Bay pulling another pop up camper that he was going to park on our yard. Kathy and LeAnn had made a Tex-Mex feast for us to enjoy. Kathy was worried that the food she had bought would not feed all the unexpected people, but like the loaves and fishes, we had plenty. Without really even knowing it was happening, we had nearly half of the people here the night before the reunion was scheduled. It was so COOL!!

I have a life long friend who I had been telling about the reunion. When she got married 27 years ago, LeAnn was her flower girl, I asked her to come and join us on Friday night so she could see LeAnn all grown up. So she and her new husband Tim (her first husband died in a car accident) came over for supper too. Angie helped us with the food by shredding the pork. She also brought over a cooler full of soda. That was such a blessing.

Because camp was nearly over and I wanted Ryan to be able to spend some time with his family before they had to leave, I drove up to Sky Lodge at 8:30pm to pick Ryan up early. Because it was the weekend of the Fourth, the traffic was horrible. It took us a bit longer to get up there than expected and Ryan was wanting to stay just a bit longer to do the after glow. So, Mike, Kathy and I went and found a friend of Mike's who was at camp. It was fun to surprise her at camp. We finally convinced Ryan to come home and left the camp around 11:00pm. By the time we arrived to the Edgerton exit, I was so totally exhausted and had been fighting a headache for hours, that I had to make Kathy drive the rest of the way home. Although I was miserable and feeling soooo nauseous, Kathy still made me laugh reminding me of another time I had been sick. Nothing like a review of illness to make a person feel better. When we got home, it was straight to bed.

Saturday morning we hit the floor running, knowing there were many more people to come. The preparation for the meal, etc. is such a blur. Once again, Leila helped a huge amount at getting things where they needed to be. Renee had prepared the brisket and Tom brought it up along with a lot of supplies for the reunion. We unloaded and got set up.

People started arriving and by noon, we were ready to eat lunch. We had family here from all over the US. Mom went to the nursing home with the help of Tom and Mike and picked up Dad and brought him to the reunion. It was touching, although Dad knew nothing of what was going on and was not able to speak, it went well having him here and once again, my dad's life just touched others. His eyes lightened up when LeAnn talked to him and introduced her children. My cousin Diane introduced her baby, Peyton to Dad, and he still loves babies. It was so touching, more than I was able to handle. I had to walk away and have a time of tears. I so miss my dad the way he was but yet, he was still a part of the family and it was so obvious how the family continues to love him despite his disease.

So, pictures, games, karaoke, food, talking, laughing, and on and on it went. The day was beautiful. I thought everyone was having a good time. People seemed relaxed and appeared to be enjoying their time together, but we had to do one more thing.... Late afternoon, I told Geof he was in charge of organizing the Siedsma Family Kickball Game. Off we went, those of us brave enough to chance life and limb in order to play a game. It was more than entertaining.

.......to be continued.

One of the Best Week(end)s in My Life

As I look back to last week, I think it really has to be one of the absolute best times of my life. On Monday we took Ryan to camp at Sky Lodge and dropped him off for his first away from home without his parents camping experience. I knew he would be fine, I grew up at church camp and trusted that all would be well. On Tuesday, while I was at work my oldest sister and her husband arrived to help us get ready for the family reunion.

My dad's family has gotten together for a reunion every two years for the last twenty or more years. Although I have missed a few, I will try to never miss another. (If we keep having them at my house, I won't have a choice.)

I spent a couple of hours with Mike and Leila before going to work again on Wednesday evening. The rest of my immediate family except for Renee were arriving on Thursday. So, Thursday we started the process of cooking and meal planning for the weekend. Leila had worked so hard at cleaning out my freezer and refrigerator. I could not ask for a better big sister, she is such a servant and I love her so much :) We waited excitedly for the arrival of the rest, Mike, Leila, Jim and I played Rook while we waited. I learned how to play as Mike's partner....like pay attention and those cards that have 11 on them are not 1's. (Sorry Mike).

Tim and Michele texted and said they were in traffic in Chicago....always traffic in Chicago. Matt had arrived driving Mike's Mustang so that Mike and Leila could have it in Michigan where they had just weeks before moved. Kathy and Bob, Niko, LeAnn, Josh, Jonathan and Madeline were on their way from Texas and almost here!!

Around 7:30 pm, the whole gang descended upon our place. The chaos has begun. A welcome change from the life of going to work, sleeping, going to work, sleeping, going to work....you get my drift.

We ate a meal of pork chops and added goodies once everyone got settled enough to eat.

Long Time

It has been a long time since I have rambled. No one besides Kathy is hearing me anyway, but I will attempt to catch up.

I have way too many things going on in my life right now to do anything fun. Work is getting in the way of having a fun life. One of my co-workers is out on medical leave. We only have basically 5 core staff, not including our boss. We have a couple of people who fill in in a pinch. Well, we are in a PINCH big time. Four of us cannot cover 27/7/365....The annoying part is that they have really seen this coming and done nothing to really be ready for it. She has cancer and most likely will be out either for a long time or never be back. It is very sad, she has a sad life and it is complicated with stress that no doubt let to her cancer's return. We are all scrambling around trying to figure out new schedules and changing our lives around to try and "fix" the issues. Had they posted the position in anticipation, it may have helped. They always seem to work from behind instead of forward thinking. Annoying!!!

There have been other work things going on but way more complicated and frustrating than needs to be mentioned here.

Dan took Ryan to the dentist for us last night so we could go on a motorcycle ride with the group from church. It was fun, a bit cold since it decided to rain a bit, but all in all we had a good time. Dan then fed Ryan supper too. He is getting much better to have around.

I bought a new phone today. I am text messaging more and decided the qwerty board was a necessity. I have a Blackberry now. It has a HUGE learning curve. I don't know, that string and a tin can was certainly less complicated.....

We are going to Michele and Tim's tomorrow. We need to get away!! Ryan is staying with the neighbors so we are actually going somewhere childless. I am not really thrilled with not taking him, but Jim feels we need some time away from him.

Ryan has been struggling big time in school. I am so worried about middle school. I sure hope the special ed department at that level is as good as what we have had so far. I do wonder if we need to further investigate Asbergers or something. I am not convinced he is only ADD. He does not do very well with any change in routine, last night when we got home, even though Dan had helped him with his homework, he was just bonkers. He so needs structure and routine and I am so tired......

One good in all of this, there should be a change in my work shift and I should be going to days when we get someone hired to replace me and the other night person who is leaving for another position.

OK, gone on way too long......and I am getting tired and want to go to bed already. Love this few hours up before feeling like crashing lifestyle. But, it may be over soon.

Christine

Diarama

We are currently working on a diarama for Ryan for school. This is the one project that I have hated for all of the years the kids have been in school. I think this is why God only allowed me to have two kids, had I had to do more than 2 diaramas, I may have gone off the deep end.

Ryan read the book, "The Magician's Nephew" from the Narnia series. He is doing a scene of the forbidden study. Jim has done A LOT of the work for the project, thus, it will be done well and do the finest detail. Today we took a picture of some books on our book shelf, cropped it down to very small, then printed 130 pieces on one page, so you can imagine how small these pieces are. Jim built book shelves and we glued the pictures (after trimming away all the white) on to the book shelf. I am not sure how many there are but in the book it talked about all the books that were in the study. He took a fireplace picture from a catalog he had and made a mantle for it. I had some scrapbook embellishments that looked like picture frames. He took a photo of flowers from our yard and printed it and put it in the frame to look like a portrait on the wall. I will post pictures of the whole project when we are done. I think coloring Easter eggs could have been less painful!!

I will keep you posted.

Wednesday

You know, even though I really desire to create a scrapbook page, I have not gotten the idea on to a page. I think I have too many distractions. Today I woke up once again with my neck killing me. I didn't sleep well, which is fine since today is a sleep day so I can make up for it and not feel guilty, however, if the pain would leave me forever, I would be very happy.

Not much else to update on, just waiting for something to change.

Suffering a Loss in My Life

Wait, before you start to worry, no one died (well,...) but I have suffered a huge loss over the weekend. I worked nights on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. On Thursday and Friday on my way to work, I just drank regular old coffee from my new Keurig Coffee maker. Love it, it is so convenient. On Saturday, I started work at 7:30pm so I thought I would stop at McDonald's and get a Frappe. I had had one earlier in the week and thought it was pretty much as close to the best thing in the world as I could imagine. Drank it all down and enjoyed it immensely. While at work, my boss said to me, "Hey, Christine, you know, I stopped at McDonald's on my way to work tonight and got one of those Frappes." Hmmmmm, I thought and said, "So did I!" She proceeded to tell me that for some stupid reason unbeknownst to me (the telling me part), she had looked up the nutritional value of the drink. Now, for someone who wants to know this kind of information, it is wonderful that the internet provides a vast supply of information. For those of us who would like to remain clueless and drink these things thinking, "What harm in a little bit of coffee (plus some extras)?" we do not want nutritional information. If you go to the McDonald's web site and look it up, it is nearly criminal. Granted there is not a lot on the menu at McDonald's that is nutritionally sound, maybe a salad without dressing or the Dasani water, but beyond that, not much. However, nothing at all comes even close to putting a person in pure ecstasy as the Frappe. I almost had a coronary when I saw what she pulled up. Nearly 700 calories, something like 96 grams of carbohydrates, and the fat was so high a number, I can't even recall it. I wanted to cry. I wanted to kill her for telling me this. I saw right then, I lost any thought of stopping every night on my way to work for something to comfort me and keep me awake.

So, there is the story of the loss in my life. Not a total loss, I plan on having one once in awhile, but a loss nonetheless.

Oh, here is my new car. I am loving it, I really prefer driving a car over a van or SUV. Not OVER like I am driving over something, but in reference to my preference. It is bedtime and I am getting a bit punchy.

Goodnight and thanks for stopping by.

SERIOUS

Someone told me on Facebook that God must want me to be serious. I had lost two status updates and one was quite funny. When I post that, an older lady from the Baptist church told me that God was telling me to be serious. I replied with, "If God wanted me to be serious, he would have created me serious." I think he did not......

I am swaying as I write this as I have taken my sleep aid and it is working. Best head to a horizontal position before one is forced upon my head.

Night night.

My Tuesday :(

We got a new car yesterday. I will post pictures later. I have been begging to get back to a car ever since we went for the SUV/Van type of vehicle. I don't like driving the bigger vehicles and I certainly don't like the gas mileage.

I am feeling a bit yucky today. There is stuff going on at work and people accusing me of saying things I did not say. I hate that, it is like you can't have a normal conversation without someone twisting what you say and telling someone else that you said it. I guess I really need to learn to just not say anything to anyone that concerns issues at work that exist. I need to learn to just sit back and watch it all take place and see what happens.

We now have to do self-evaluations at work. I hate the thought of that. If you don't say you are doing a really good job, then they can use that against you but if you say you are doing really good, then where is the room for improvement and also, what if management does not agree with your own thoughts of yourself? It is kind of a catch 22 if you ask me. I think it is a really unfriendly way for the company to not give as much of a raise as they could. If it weren't for the longevity in the place I work, I would so like to leave and find something different. I make too good of money to do that, but if I could not drive 80 miles a day, that may save me a lot too. What to do, what to do????? If only if only if only......I know we cannot live by if onlys!

Thanks for listening.

Funny Picture

This picture showed up the other day among some stuff on the kitchen table. I have no idea what year this was but I think the picture is a HOOT. It is obviously in Leila' kitchen but I am thinking it was the year Jim took the boys to KS without me because I had to work Thanksgiving. Not even sure what year that was, probably 2001.

Weight Loss

I am so tired of thinking there is a way I can lose weight on my common sense. My will power leaves my body and is taken over by cinnamon lattes and cinnamon rolls. I am going a new way and we will see what happens.

I have the first and most recent cousin on the couch pictures to scrap. I have to figure out how to put all of the years on a layout. Wish I had a live is sister to show me!!

Wednesday

Too tired to really know what I would say if I could actually type. Yes, you may think this is typing, but it is typeuntyping. Where a person types about 2 to 3 letters and has to backspace and fix the word. Wow, I got word on one try. Time to go to bed. "Another Picture you all cry" I hear you saying, I wish she had one more picture to show us. Well, here it is, my prize possession.

Laudromat

This has absolutely nothing to do with a laundromat either. I am going to learn to put the pictures first, the tell what they are about. For some reason, it will work better that way.

Here is something...a start of the cabinet my DH built for my basement storage for scrappybooking.

Work before Pleasure

I went back to work tonight for the first time in a week on a night shift. I am so tired now. Really ready to find a day job. Please, pray for that day job to show up soon.

Today's calendar

On my calendar from the book "The Power of a Praying Parent" it says, "No matter what age your children are, it's never too early or too late to start praying for their salvation. We want our children to open the door of their hearts to Jesus and experience God's kingdom, both in this life and forever after."

That is basically the just of my whole life as a mother. I do not care if they become successful in this world as much as that they find true peace and a relationship with Jesus. That is far more valuable than any degree or career they can have.

Jim spent the night at the homeless shelter on Friday night. Dan was asking all about the people who were there. I was surprised by his interest. Ryan hung out for awhile at the shelter and visited with the men. I think he may have learned a bit about homelessness, etc.

Dan went to church with us yesterday (it is a requirement of free room and board). I was a little taken back though that he got in line for communion. I hope he really understands the meaning of that and truly believes in his heart what the meaning is. I really wish he would confess his belief if that is really what he believes instead of making such strong statements against it. I guess he will have to decide if being hypocritical is really what he wants to be.

ok, gotta stop blabbbbbering.

Here are some pictures from our Easter. We had Renee, Tom, and Michele over for lunch....oh, and Grandma too (I forget, she is not really here all the time).

Ryan got a duck that quacks "Here Comes Peter Cottontail". It is very cute.....I love that Easter Bunny for bringing such a cute gift to Ryan.

Saturday Before Easter

What is this day called? If Friday is Good Friday and Sunday is Easter, Thursday is Maunday Thursday, but Saturday has no special name?

My niece from Michigan is here visiting. We watched "Princess and the Frog." Not one of the better Disney movies in my book, but tolerable. Of course, I was tired while watching it, that may have helped it not be as good.

Happy Easter!!! Happy Resurrection Day!!!!!!!

Reflections of the Day.....and a day or so ago

Today, what an interesting day. Reflecting on what the day really means, Jesus became sin for me so that I did not have to suffer the death caused by my sin. There will never be a complete understanding in my human finite mind of why this would be. I am thankful that it happened.

We nailed our sins to the cross tonight and tomorrow they will be burned. When we celebrate the resurrection, we will celebrate the forgiveness of sin.

I got my hair cut this week. The next day Dan asked me what I did to my hair. I told him I got it cut. That is really all I had done. He said, "Well, it really 'youthenized' you." I said, "Euthanized?" He said, "Euthanize is what I wanted to do to you before you got your hair cut." He is a funny funny young man.

I love vacation so much, that last night I called my boss and quit my job. Don't really know how we will live, but I am so happy to be free!!






April Fool's

Today I did two new things. First, I went to a Zumba class. It was hard and I am so not coordinated, but I gave it my all and had a great time. I don't know that I can continue that once I get back to my normal work schedule, but I will try to see if I can find an evening class.

I dusted off some books (literally) that I need to get back into. I had started to read and do the study guide 9 years ago and let it slip but I am going to try once again. The book is "The Power of a Praying Parent." I am encouraged by the first chapter which says that prayer is vital to the life of a child no matter the age or the stage in their life. I have found I have really neglected the area of praying for my children, I do better at worrying for them and trying to control ever aspect of their lives, rather than trusting that they are the gift God has given and that he is there every second of every minute of every hour of every day.....I don't need to be!!

So, we will see how well I do. Hopefully, this blog will keep me accountable. Like Julie in the movie, she needed something. I guess I do too.

Thanks for reading.

So, I was going to try and only post one time per day on this. However, too many things happen that I need to talk about. This is not just for readers, this is for me, to remind me of the things that I need to work on and deal with.

I was eating supper tonight and sitting in the chair opposite the way I usually sit (Jim was not home). On the side of the room I was facing, there is a picture of our family several years ago when I was at the peak of my weight loss adventure--there have been many. I look at that picture and wonder where that person ended up. I know that weight does not determine who you are, but in my case, I think my weight is a direct result of an undisciplined life that has gotten a bit out of control. That picture and a chat on Facebook conversation I just had with a former co-worker (who, by the way, hardly ever chats with me on FB) made me feel that I really need to get a grip on things. She was telling me about her weight loss journey. She felt that God told her to fast for a friend of hers in Guatemala. She said he told her that fasting for her meant giving up the "extras". She really encouraged me to take a journey based on grace instead of will power. She said she spends a lot of time exercising and uses that time to pray for people. She said she would start to pray for me.

So, if you are reading this, please pray for me and this path I need to follow. It is not only about the weight loss, but about seeking God in my life. It is about spending time in quietness with him and less time with my dearly beloved computer (mostly wasting time).

I will keep you posted about how I am doing, but this is a posting for me to remember what it is I really need to use this blog for.

Thanks for listening.

Ok, this it proving to be more difficult than I thought. I am getting some help. I tried once again to post a picture and it looks as though today it is going to work. We will see.

So, my thoughts for today come from a calendar a dear friend gave me a long time ago with sayings from the book "The Power of a Praying Parent". Every day there is a saying or a scripture. Today's is exactly the expression of what my heart feels.

"Above all else, we want our children to come to a knowledge of who God really is and to know Jesus as their Savior. When that happens, we know their eternal future is secure' we know that when they die, we will see them again in heaven. What a wonderful hope that is!"

Day One

After seeing the movie Julie and Julia I was compelled to start a blog. No, I am not going to make 500 some recipes in a year, that would be totally out of character for me, but I am going to at least spend some time putting on a blog what I want to say and some of my thoughts.